A Complicated Marriage
by RaspberryRaindrops
Summary: Nick and Zoe are married, with a little girl but they aren't getting along well. How will the couple cope with the struggles within their marriage? Please read and review. As always I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

"It isn't always about you, Zoe" Nick raged, stomping down the stairs out of her way. His incredibly selfish wife was once again starting an argument.

"I don't know why you're shouting" Zoe replied, in a more hushed tone aware of the sleeping infant upstairs "All I said was that I didn't think we were ready for another baby. I mean, you're always at work, we barely see each other and you hardly ever touch me. Our marriage isn't brilliant at the moment and I think another baby would make things even more complicated" she tried to reason with him. She moved to sit on the sofa across from where he sat and looked him dead in the eye "Sometimes..." she whispered, not wanting to admit to herself what she was about to say "Sometimes I think you don't love me anymore"

Nick looked at her, stunned "What?!" he choked incredulously "I tell you I love you every day" he couldn't believe what his wife had just said, surely she wasn't that wrapped up in herself. "The whole world doesn't revolve around you" he argued back "just because not everyone is interested in doing exactly what Zoe wants and keeping Zoe happy in her perfect Zoe land." he continued, a viciously sarcastic edge to his voice.

Zoe smiled sadly "No Nick, you only tell me you love me when I say if first and even then all I get is 'you too' you're always at work, you never stop thinking about the place, which would mean it would be me left on my own raising two children and trying to work at the same time and keep our marriage from falling apart, I'm not super woman"

Nick stood up, in a huff "You're so selfish sometimes, there are two of us in this marriage, not just you"

"Well you could have fooled me" Zoe yelled, her temper raising, she moved from the room, heading back upstairs before turning around "How dare you call me selfish" she hissed "everything I do is for our family, for you, and for our little girl" she left the room, heading upstairs, leaving Nick to sulk. All they ever did was argue these day, there was no family time with all three of them anymore; no intimacy between her and Nick. That man sitting on the couch downstairs was not the man she married, she knew she had married a man who loved his job and worked all hours god sent but now it was different, he brought work home with him leaving in the middle of the night to deal with emergencies. That was not the man she loved, that was a stranger.

Zoe walked into her daughter's room, sitting on the edge of her bed and stroking her hair gently. Their little girl was a miracle, if it wasn't for her Zoe often wondered whether she and Nick would have ever gotten married or stayed together for as long as they had. She pulled the covers over her daughter, tucking her up and placing a kiss on her forehead before pulling the door shut softly and heading to her room. She sighed softly, noting the mess in their room; pyjamas and underwear lay on the floor, a pile of Nick's socks sat at the edge of their bed. She looked at the picture of her and Nick on their wedding day and felt a tear slip down her cheek, they used to be so happy. Her eyes then moved to the picture of her and Sofia, they day she had been born. She loved her little girl more than anything else in the world and she knew Nick felt the same; she was their ray of sunshine. Zoe quickly wiped the hot tears from her cheek and cleared up the mess of their room. She moved to her wardrobe, pulling her shirt and skirt off and changing into one of her shortest dresses, one she hadn't worn since before her daughter had been born; slipping on her highest, most expensive heels and a slick of lipstick before grabbing her bag and going back downstairs.

"I'm going out, Sofia is sound asleep" she called into the living room from the hall way.

"Where..." She heard Nick call before she pulled her front door shut and hailed a cab that sat at the end of her street. She knew Nick was watching her from the window, she acted recklessly when they had an argument, and she loved to make him squirm.


	2. Chapter 2

"Double vodka please" Zoe spoke to the barman, sliding a twenty pound note across the bar and gratefully receiving the alcohol that was passed back to her, she downed it quickly "another please" she demanded before the barman could give her the change. Three double vodka's later and Zoe was in much better spirits. She slid off the bar stool, handing her bag to the barman for him to keep for her and moved to the dance floor. She vaguely recognised a few patrons of the club tonight, before she had her daughter she and Linda used to frequent here, it was their favourite place for a night out. It was times like this she wished her best friend hadn't gone back to Liverpool, she missed her so much.

"Long time no see, stranger" a voice spoke in Zoe's ear and she once again propped up the bar, scrolling through her phone to see if her husband had even bothered to call her, he hadn't.

"Well this is a surprise" Zoe replied, a grin spreading across her face as she turned to see who had spoken to her "What are you doing here?" She hadn't seen Matt Strong in almost four years, and she certainly wasn't expecting him to be in a nightclub at one o'clock in the morning.

"Works night out" he grimaced at her, causing her to laugh "Unfortunately the F2s got to pick the venue this time, and you? Are you here alone?" he asked, sliding a glass of red wine towards her.

"Yep" she replied, looking down into her now half empty glass of wine "drowning my sorrows" she downed the rest of her glass and looked towards Matt, he had showed her more attention in the past ten minutes than Nick had all week.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a note of concern in his voice as he watched her drink another vodka. He reached forward, stroking her knee softly "You can tell me"

Zoe looked down at the hand on her knee, she knew exactly what he was doing but she was in no mood to stop him, she was enjoying his attention. "My husband is a prick" she replied bluntly looking up at him with a rueful smile. "He wants to have another baby, I don't think we should. We've been on the rocks for a while, if it wasn't for Sofia I think we'd have split up a long time ago" she paused to take a drink of the wine that Matt had just bought her "I never see him anymore, he's always at work and when he is home we're constantly at each other's throats." She felt a tear sliding how her cheek and sucked her breath in as Matt's thumb wiped it away.

"Hey" he murmured "There's no need for these tears" he slid his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side and kissing the top of her head. He couldn't believe how much he had missed her, his once fiancée whom he had lost to the man who was now making her so unhappy. He wasn't going to miss his chance, when it presented its self so nicely.

Zoe smiled up at him "I'm so sorry I ever hurt you" she whispered into his chest clinging onto his arms as she tried to stand up, the effect of several units of alcohol taking effect. "You know, he hasn't touched me in months, how he expects us to have another child when we don't have sex anymore is beyond me" she gripped the top of his arm, his muscle tensing as he supported her "You've shown me more attention tonight than my husband has in weeks" she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, as hard as she could.

"Wow" Matt took a step back, "Are you sure this is what you want?" if she said yes, Matt wasn't going to deny her, this was his chance of revenge on Nick for taking the only woman he had ever been in love with.

Another kiss from Zoe was her reply, she pulled him out into the street and into a waiting taxi "His house" she told the taxi driver as she kissed him again.

"Holborn road" Matt told the taxi driver as he pulled away from Zoe briefly.

She slid herself into his lap as the taxi travelled along the ring road, one arm hooked tightly around his neck.

They stumbled into his apartment together and straight to his bedroom, a drunken Zoe staggering slightly as she led the way.

Zoe woke the next morning, with a thumping sore head. She looked at her phone, _5.45 am, _it took her a few minutes to realise not only that she was naked but also on the wrong bed with the wrong man snoring next to her. "Oh, fuck" she exclaimed, as Matt turned around to look at her "This shouldn't have happened" she recoiled as he reached out to touch her "You won't... you're not going to say anything, are you?" she asked worriedly, biting down on her lip.

"No of course not, this is as much about revenge for you has it is for me" he replied turning around to give her privacy as she got dressed.

"Matt..." Zoe called as she reached the front door "Thank you" she hailed a passing taxi and slipped inside, giving her address and closing her eyes as it took her back through the quiet dawn to her husband and daughter. She hoped they would both still be sleeping and she could pass it off as spending a night sleeping on the couch.

She tiptoed up the front driveway, sliding past her and Nick's cars and putting her key into the lock as quietly as possible. She tripped over the front door slightly, still a little drunk and held on to the door handle for dear life as she felt herself fall to the floor.

"Where the hell have you been?" Nick whispered, hoping Sofia was still asleep "It's six o'clock in the morning" he looked down at his wife, sprawled across the front door and held out his hand, hoping to conceal her from their neighbours heading to work.

Zoe's stomach dropped as she looked at Nick, already dressed in his suit, she forgot he was on an early shift. She grasped his hand and allowed him to pull her up, ignoring his question and sliding past him heading for her bed, thankfully she was off today.

"Zoe" Nick called behind her with a warning tone is his voice

"Just leave me alone" she snapped, slamming their bedroom door behind her and falling into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick sighed as he got into his car to head to work, he looked at Zoe's Audi; the sleek and shiny car seemed to sum up her whole personality. He wondered where their marriage had gone wrong, when the passion had died out between them and they had become so distant from each other. He didn't blame her for going out last night, they both needed time to cool off but it was where she spent the night that worried him. He decided to make time for himself and Zoe; they needed to communicate with each other.

The majority of Nick's shift passed without major incident; he'd dealt with two cardiac arrests and a minor RTC before lunch.

He took the long way back from Darwin, after accompanying a patient up to the ward. He sipped his coffee slowly as he walked past the offices of surgical consultants, pausing when he heard his wife's name mentioned.

"She was crying when I was at the bar with her" Matt's voice spoke, explaining his sudden disappearance to his colleagues from last night.

"Anything happen?" came a reply

Matt laughed "Well, I never thought I'd see the day that Dr Hanna would beg for sex 'he hasn't touched me in months' she was practically on her knees begging me" he told his colleagues

"She's hot that one, you're a lucky so and so. That was supposed to have been my round too, I could have taken her home" the other man in Matt's office laughed.

Nick's stomach dropped; surely Zoe had gone home with Matt last night. By the sounds of their conversation she'd done a lot more than just go home with him. He and Zoe both had their pasts, but not once would he have suspected her of cheating; they were married and had a child together.

Nick made his way back to his office, sick to the stomach with thoughts of Zoe, his wife, sleeping with another man. He looked at his phone, no calls or texts from Zoe, just a text from Sofia's childminder asking why she hadn't been dropped off that morning. Nick frowned, Zoe always took Sofia to the childminders; hangover or not. He wondered, briefly, whether something had happened to her, then decided that she was just being lazy. He was dreading going home to Zoe, confronting her on her actions from the previous night.

"Adam, you'll need to cover the rest of my shift, something's come up" Nick called across the ED, hurrying to the car park he needed to see Zoe, allow her to explain, he couldn't let things lie anymore.

The sounds of his daughter's delighted squeals greeted him as he walked through the door; she was sat on the kitchen worktop, Zoe standing in front of her tickling her mercilessly. His eyes were immediately drawn to Zoe's back side, his favourite area of her body, currently clad in the tightest jeans. He watched as she bent over to place Sofia back on the floor, before turning around to see him standing there.

"Oh, you're home early" she greeted him, moving forward to kiss him; he turned his face to the side unable to get the thought of Matt kissing her from his head.

"Yes, I think we have things to discuss..." he looked at her, before turning away in disgust.

"We do?" she questioned, a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Let me just put Fifi in bed and I'll be right back, will you check dinner?" she asked, picking up their daughter "Say goodnight to daddy"

"Night night daddy, love you" she chirped as Zoe carried her upstairs.

Thoughts of Zoe and himself getting divorced filled his head, he couldn't bear for Sofia not to live with him, she was his everything.

"So..." Nick questioned as they sat at the dining table, eating the spaghetti that Zoe had made, the first sign of guilt he though; she never made dinner. "Are you going to tell me where you were last night?"

Zoe's eyes dropped back to her plate, the sudden urge to vomit over coming her "I stayed at a friend's house, I met her at the club and I didn't want to wake you by stumbling home last night" Zoe lied through her teeth.

Nick frowned at her "What was her name?"

"Oh, Gillian, you know from St James', the cardiologist" Zoe replied, Gillian wasn't even a friend just a mere acquaintance from her rotation almost ten years ago.

"Is that right" Nick mused "So you didn't spend the night at Matt Strong's then?" he questioned, his anger beginning to build up at her blatant lies.

Zoe looked shocked, she didn't bargain on him finding out ever, never mind mere hours later "Did he tell you?" she asked quietly "He promised he wouldn't"

Nick looked, shocked. He hadn't expected her to admit things so quickly "No Zoe, he didn't tell me. I overheard him in his office bragging about how easy you were, how you begged him for sex. Am I not doing it for you anymore?" he barged on, giving her no time to explain "I can't believe you did that, I know things weren't great here but sleeping with another man was completely out of order. Do you have any idea how I felt hearing him say those things about you, like you were some cheap tart"

"Nick" she pleaded weakly "I never meant for it to happen, I just needed some attention, you were never there and I was drunk... I didn't have it in me to say no, I really am sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, I really do love you" Zoe began to cry "I just liked feeling wanted, he made me feel special, buying me drinks and letting me talk about my problems. I'm so, so sorry" she drained her wine glass, standing up and moving towards him, reaching out to take his hand.

"You're a disgrace" Nick hissed, "You should have spoken to me; we could have talked things through last night. Here I was, talking about wanting another child, and off you go and shag some other bloke. You're not fit to be a mother to the child you have, never mind make another one" he raged at her, trying to keep his voice down.

"Nick, please..." Zoe tried to interrupt him "You know I love Sofia, more than anything. Please just talk to me" she begged trying to grab his arm as he left the room.

"Get off of me" he snarled at her, he didn't remember feeling this angry before not ever. "I don't want to see you tonight, I'm taking Sofia with me" he hurried upstairs, grabbing a bag and throwing in some clothes, his toothbrush and a few things for Sofia; clothes, toys and her 'blanky' "Come on princess" he spoke softly as he lifted her from her bed, half asleep as she lay across his shoulder "We're going on an adventure" he took her back downstairs, with their bag where a worried Zoe was pacing.

"You can't take my child" she cried at him, she always did have a penchant for armature dramatics. She grabbed at his arm in a futile attempt to pull him away from the door.

He ignored her, pushing her from him and going out to the car and strapping his daughter in and covering her with a blanket. "Shut your eyes darling" he kissed her on the forehead, before shutting the door softly and turning back towards the house.

"Nick you can't do this, please don't leave me" she begged, on her knees in front of him, tears streaming down her face.

"Is that how you begged Matt last night?" he asked maliciously "get up, you look a mess" he held out his hand pulling her up. "I'll call you in the next few days, I've taken the time off work so you won't see me there" he told her emotionlessly before getting into the car and driving to the only place he could think of.

"Charlie, can we stay here tonight" he asked, as the older man opened the door. Looking at Nick with a confused stare, he looked like a lost child.

"Of course, I'll get you a whiskey. Come in" he took the sleeping child from him "Zoe trouble?" he asked, knowing full well what the answer was going to be.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been four days since Nick had walked out on Zoe and taken their daughter with him; four days that Zoe had spent in an alcohol induced haze, calling and texting Nick every so often, some pleading and begging, others full of anger and hatred for taking her daughter.

As much as Nick hated to admit it to himself he missed Zoe, their daughter missed her even more. Sofia spent every night crying for Zoe; the one parent, who had been a constant in her life whilst her father was at work, the one who came home every night to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight, even if she had to return to her shift. Sofia Jordan was a mummy's girl and Nick couldn't deprive her of her mother for much longer. He sighed heavily and picked up his phone, scrolling through the some three hundred texts he had received from Zoe in the last four days.

_I really am sorry you know it's you that I love. Please, please come home and we can talk about this? It was all a huge mistake and we can fix it, you just need to let me make it up to you. Please Nick, I need to see my baby!_

_Nick, I love you. Please come home, we need to fix things, I need to see Fifi and she needs me. Please come home, I'll show you just how sorry I am ;) I need you Nick Jordan, I love you to death. Please just let me fix things xxx_

_You can't keep me from my daughter, you arrogant prick! I want to see my child, she needs me. She barely even knows who you are for God's sake! I want my daughter back, NOW._

_Nick, I'm sorry. I was just confused. Please bring Sofia home and we can work this through, like grownups. Come on Nick, please don't be like this. You've done things in the past too, but we always make it work. _

Nick sighed, again and looked at his sleeping daughter, lost in the double bed of the hotel they were staying in. Zoe was right, their daughter needed their mother. He picked up his phone and composed a new text.

_Zoe, I'll be home with Sofia in a few hours. I think we need to talk, but I'm making no promises. I hope, for your sake that you are not drunk or have been drinking or I will leave and never come back. Our daughter doesn't need to know what you were like before you were born. See you soon, Nick._

Zoe jumped as her phone bleeped; she shifted the empty bottles out of her way and peered bleary eyed at Nick's text. The stark words hit her hard, she was drunk right now and she had to sort herself out. A shower and a strong coffee were needed. She made her way around the living room, slowly, picking up the empty bottles and opening all the windows, hoping the stale smell of alcohol would leave the room. One freezing cold shower and three coffees' later Zoe was ready to face Nick, she had tidied the house, and hoped that Nick would actually turn up.

The sound of Nick's Mercedes on the gravel drew her attention; she straightened her clothes; her tightest jeans and a top which showed her cleavage always worked in her advantage, if Nick wasn't in a listening mood then tempting him into bed would be the next best thing. That was how Zoe got her way. The sound of two voices and a key in the lock made Zoe's stomach flutter, a wave of nausea passing over her. She put on her brightest smile as the front door opened.

"Mummy!"

"Hello, Zoe"

The contrast in the two voices would have been funny if it wasn't for the sombreness of the occasion; her daughters high pitched voice in blatant contrast to her husband's low timbre.

"Hello princess" she swung her daughter into her arms and held on tight, no one was taking her daughter from her again. She slowly looked up from her daughter, to see her husband's emotionless face "Hello, Nick."


	5. Chapter 5

"You look like crap" Nick told Zoe, as he watched her, from the doorway, cuddling their daughter.

Zoe's head snapped up "Thanks. That's what happens after four sleepless nights wondering where my daughter is" she replied, an acid bite to her tongue.

"So..." Nick began, sitting down on the couch looking somewhat out of place. "You wanted to talk, let's talk" he gestured is head at Sofia and Zoe got the hint immediately.

"Baby, why don't you go upstairs and pick out some pyjamas to wear, yeah? Then mummy will come read you a story" she kissed her daughter on the head, and ushered her from the room, making sure she was upstairs before heading back to the living room.

"Nick" Zoe sighed softly, sitting down next to him and grasping his hands in hers, frowning as he flinched. "There's only so many times I can tell you how sorry I am, I think deep down you know that I never meant for it to happen"

Nick looked at Zoe sadly "but it did happen, Zoe, that's the problem. You let it happen, when you knew full well you had a family at home. You went out, looking for attention and you found it"

"Matt took advantage, Nick" Zoe tried to explain, she wasn't crying rape, it was definitely consensual, in fact it was her idea but Matt took advantage of her situation and how she felt "He knew which buttons to push, he bought me drinks and he listened to me, I was grateful." She looked down at their joined hands and began to cry "I really am sorry; I just need to know where we stand. Can we get past this Nick?"

"There's your lookout, Zoe. Matt, you had to sleep with Matt, remember that I took you from him in the first place, surely you must have clicked that he'd want revenge?" he looked at her tear stained face, his thumb wiping away the next tear that threatened to fall. "I love you Zoe, but you hurt me. You have no idea how it felt to find out you'd slept with him. I thought my world was falling apart."

"I know" she shook her head sadly, "I was so disgusted with myself when I realised what had happened, you have to believe me" she grasped his hand tighter "I don't even remember it happening, I think I must have blacked out" she sighed, ashamed of her own behaviour. "I love you Nick Jordan"

She leant forward, kissing him softly, surprised as he reciprocated her actions. Her arm wounds it's way around his neck, forcing her body closer to his "I'm so sorry" she mumbled against his lips "I hate myself for hurting you, I love you" she continued in between kisses, which were becoming more passionate; his tongue fought with hers, all his anger forcing its way into the kiss.

"I know you are" He replied, breaking away and resting his forehead against hers. "I haven't forgiven you Zoe, but we can try and work past this, make things work as a family"

She kissed him again on hearing his response, moving into his lap; hips grinding against his.

"I've missed you" Nick panted into her neck, trailing kisses along her collar bone.

"MUMMY" a shrill cry interrupted them

They pulled back, looking at each other and chuckling.

"Some things never change" Nick laughed, pushing her from his knee and leading her upstairs to their daughter.


	6. Chapter 6

Zoe sighed heavily as she watched Nick serving up dinner in the kitchen. Her hands shook as she accepted the glass of wine from him, which she pushed slightly away from her when he turned his back. She counted the number of steps he took from one side of the kitchen to reach the dining table at the other end; thirteen. Her fingers drummed on the table as Nick took his seat, smiling at her softly.

"Everything ok?" He asked quietly, watching her in bemusement.

"Yeah, yeah everything's fine" she smiled in return. Reaching her hand out to him across the table, which he took; kissing her knuckles lightly. They had been getting on so well recently, in the few months since he'd came home. Zoe had barely touched alcohol in those months, she didn't need to give Nick any more reasons to criticise her as a wife or a mother.

"I need to tell you something" she whispered across the table to him, she felt his grasp of her hand tightening slightly as she spoke.

He raised his eyebrow at her, indicating her to continue, not speaking as he waited for her to speak.

Zoe took a deep breath, lifting a finger to her mouth; chewing the nail slightly as she spoke. "I'm pregnant" she looked at him, watching as he frowned; she knew exactly what he was thinking.

She watched him intently as he took a large gulp of his wine "is it mine?" He asked bluntly. He furrowed bus brow waiting on her reply, thinking of the possibilities that his wife carried another mans child.

"I think so" she replied slowly, waiting for his reaction "I'm not sure how far along I am, exactly, about ten weeks I think but it could be twelve"

Nick sighed, standing up from the table twelve weeks would give him a fifty-fifty chance of being the father, ten weeks and he was definitely the dad. "I need some space" he muttered as he walked away from the table "you'd better book an appointment with the midwife" he told her over his shoulder, leaving Zoe with tears slipping down her face in the kitchen.

"Tess?" Zoe called as she walked into work the next day "can I have a word, in private?" She asked.

"Sure, what's up?" Tess replied smiling at her.

"Could you… Could you do a scan for me please?" Zoe asked quietly, aware of the people around them, rubbing her abdomen slightly.

Tess beamed at her "of course I will!" She replied, ushering her into a cubicle and directing her to lie on the bed. "Pull up your top" she squirted the conductive jelly onto Zoe's abdomen, laughing as she shivered. "There you go" she indicated the screen where her baby lay "everything looks normal, I'd say you were around twelve weeks" she grasped Zoe's hand softly "congratulations, I take it that this was a surprise?" she asked as watched Zoe crying.

Zoe shook her head "are you sure I'm a full twelve weeks?" She asked quietly, her stomach sinking as the reality struck her.

"Yep" Tess replied cheerfully, not understanding the severity of the situation "twelve weeks give or take a few day, you must be thrilled!"

"Yeah" Zoe mumbled in return, "We are..."

Nick looked at Zoe in suspicion as she returned home from the hospital; he could see the red marks that signified tears on her face. He knew immediately what the problem was. "You've had a scan, haven't you?" he asked her as she sipped slowly from the mug of tea she had just poured. A nod was all he got in return. "And?" he prompted her.

"Twelve weeks..." she whispered, feeling the tears welling up behind her eyes again, the mug of tea in her hand shook as she thought back, desperately looking for some evidence that the baby in her stomach was her husband's.

Nick's nostrils flared sharply as he looked at her, he took a deep breath, feeling a horrible gnawing pain in his abdomen, dreading the words he was about to say actually leaving his mouth "Well you can't keep it..."


	7. Chapter 7

"You cannot be serious?" Zoe choked, the remnants of her tea falling from her cup as her hands began to shake. "You're telling me that you want me to kill our baby?" she looked at him incredulously, shaking her head ever so slightly.

"Would I joke about that?" Nick replied, looking her up and down; is eyes falling on her rounded abdomen "It's not our baby though is it? It's your baby" he pointed a finger in her direction as he spoke "Might be mine, might me Matt's. I don't want to wonder for the rest of its life if it's my baby will I play daddy" his words were vicious and he could see them hurting her, almost life he they were physical blows.

"No." Zoe replied adamantly, squaring up to him and looking him dead in the eye "I will not kill _my _child, I won't do it. Sofia deserves the chance to know her brother or sister" she began to plead with him "You can't make me do this" the tears streaming down her face.

"You're right, I can't make you do anything, but, you keep this baby and I want a divorce. There will be no more 'us' there will be me and Sofia, then you, and that" he nodded his head towards her stomach. "Of course you'll have visitation rights but Sofia stays with me" he continued.

"Nick" Zoe cried weakly, not quite believing what she was hearing "Please don't do this to me" she begged him.

"You know the terms Zoe, it's me or the baby" He looked coldly at his whimpering wife before turning on his heel and leaving, the living room door shutting with a bang.

Zoe pulled her mobile shakily from her bag, the scan picture fluttering to the floor as she done so. She flitted her head between the scan and the picture on the mantel piece of herself, Sofia and Nick. She couldn't imagine life without her daughter living under the same rook as her. With a sigh she scrolled through her phone, stopping on the number of obstetrics "I'd..." she stuttered as the woman answered "I'd like to make an appointment for a termination please, as soon as"

She threw her phone against the wall in frustration after confirming her appointment for ten o'clock the next day, she couldn't believe Nick would be so horrible, the man she married and loved the bones of. She walked slowly upstairs, rubbing circles into her abdomen as she went. She loved being pregnant; it was such a magical experience and her so called husband was taking it away from her. She had to get out, away from him just for one night. Peeking her head around her daughter's door she smiled softly, watching her chest rise and fall as she slept. "Night night baby girl" she whispered.

She walked into her bedroom, hearing Nick moving about in the office upstairs and packed some clothes before writing a note and leaving it lying on his bedside table;

_Going to a hotel, need space to get my head straight; App at ten tomorrow I'll be home tomorrow night. _

The message was blunt, no love or emotion, no kissed after her script. She was unsure if she could ever forgive her husband for this.

.

Nick looked at the clock on the wall of reception and sighed, in twenty five minutes his wife would be aborting the child that grew inside her on his say so. He had been mulling things over all night, he knew there was a greater chance of the child being his, a much greater chance but he didn't want to take that risk.

Could he really let his wife do this, kill what was most likely his child. His stomach twisted in knots as his eyes scanned the ED; hoping for some sign of Zoe. She wasn't there. Twenty minutes now, according to the clock. He heard the squall of a baby and turned around, watching as a mother cradled the infant back to sleep.

He thought back to when Zoe was pregnant, how difficult it had been, how beautiful she looked and the amazing thing they got at the end of the trials and tribulation of Zoe's first pregnancy;

_He watched her as she paced up and down the living room, absentmindedly rubbing her very swollen abdomen, his eyes were drawn to her heaving breasts falling, swollen in the latter stages of her pregnancy, almost falling from her vest top in the high summer heat. He could see the sweat glistening on her neck, trailing down her cleavage. He remembered telling her she was beautiful and chuckling as she snapped at him telling him 'not to be so stupid', 'I'm fat, hormonal and very uncomfortable' she told him. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, his hands joining hers as they soothed the flurrying kicks beneath their hands. _

_He ran her a very cool bath that day; it was almost thirty degrees outside, a horrible time for anyone to be pregnant. He remembered how beautiful she looked, lying in the bath, as the water lapped at her breasts and stomach, he remembered the look on her face as she raised a teasing eyebrow and asked him why he wasn't joining her in the bath. He remembered her gasps of pleasure as he entered her slowly, in careful consideration of her sizable bump, her mewls of pleasure rang in his ears as he teased her mercilessly until she cried out in pleasure._

_He remembered the cries of pain that night as her first contraction washed over her, and he sat up in a blind panic, he watched her gripping the sheets as he tried to coax her from the bed and into the car, her waters braking on the stairs. They had to replace the carpet after that. _

_He remembered the look of sheer joy on her face as she held her daughter for the first time, tears pouring down her face as she held the baby she was never supposed to have._

The look of joy was etched in Nick's mind as she looked at the clock once again, he couldn't let her do it. It was already five minutes past ten. He hurried to the lift, repeatedly jabbing the button for the third floor. He sprinted along the corridor, skidding to a halt at reception as he looked at his watch; ten past ten. "I'm looking for Zoe Jordan please?" he panted to the receptionist.

She smiled back at him sadly "She's already left I'm afraid, we had a cancelation at quarter to ten" she apologised again as he left.

Nick had never known a feeling like it, he was essentially responsible for the murder of his child, and the upcoming unhappiness of his wife. He knew deep down in his heart that he would have loved the child, which was more than likely his, whether he was the biological father or not; and now, he feared, he wouldn't get a chance to put things right. 


	8. Chapter 8

Zoe sat in the waiting room, watching the minutes pass by slowly on the clock. Her fingers drummed nervously on the chair beside her, she silently prayed to herself that Nick would walk through the doors on her left, take her hand and lead her away. This waiting room was Zoe's idea of hell; she cursed whoever decided on a shared waiting room for those booked in for their maternity appointments and those booked in for a termination. She watched the couples around her, their baby bumps much more developed than hers; a stage she'd never reach in her pregnancy.

She tilted her head against the wall behind her, thoughts of her last pregnancy reeling through her mind like a silent film;

"_Nick" she called from the bathroom, white stick clutched in her hand as she sat on the edge of the bath. "I'm pregnant" she beamed at him, holding out the test with a shaking hand. She laughed she smiled delightedly as he picked her up and spun her around, kissing her as he done so._

"_Oh my god" she cried, standing in the middle of resus both hands clutching her bump. She chuckled as Nick, Tess and Charlie rushed to her side with a million questions about her and her unborn child's wellbeing. "No, I'm fine" she assured them "The baby kicked, that's all" she smiled at them, grinning as Nick's hands joined hers and he kissed her, smiling against her mouth as the staff in resus wolf whistled. _

"_I love you, you know" he told her, as they strolled through the shopping centre their spare hands full of bags filled with baby clothes and other things for their child, with Nick Jordan as their father they would only have the best. She turned and smiled at him, squeezing his hand. She stopped in the middle of the shopping centre as the baby assaulted her insides, kicking hard and fast. "Are you ok?" he asked in concern, pacing the shopping bags on the floor and moving is hands to her stomach "Is everything alright?" She nodded in return, smiling as he rubbed her stomach, the kicks slowing down with the soothing movements of Nick's hands. _

"_Nick" she elbowed him in the side, clenching the sheets tightly as a contraction washed over her "Nick, for the love of god wake up" she laughed as he sat bolt upright, turning to her with concern etched all over his face. He was out of bed and by her side in an instant, coaxing her up and leading her to the car, rubbing her back as her waters broke on the stairs and agreeing with her when she demanded he make some calls and get the carpet replaced for her and the baby coming home._

_He was by her side through seventeen hours of labour, holding her hand without complaint as every contraction ripped through her body. Encouraging her as she failed to push, telling her she could do it when she was exhausted and holding her tight as she cried when she first held their daughter. _

"Mrs Jordan?" the doctor called, pulling her from her revere as he lead her to his office.

She zoned out as he explained the procedure to her, she was well aware of what would happen. They would numb her up and insert a tube inside her, sucking the foetus out of her. She hated the word 'foetus' it was so impersonal and unfeeling.

"Are you ok?" the doctor asked her, noting the glazed expression on her face. "Do you need a minute?" he placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention "Do you want to talk about it?"

Zoe looked up sharply as she felt the hand on her shoulder, and smiled softly. "No, I'm fine" she stood up and smoothed her skirt down "I'm really sorry, but I can't do this" she lifted her bag and hurried to the door "I'm sorry for wasting your time" she said over her shoulder. She hurried into the toilet, tears streaming down her face. The receptionist smiled at her as she left, wishing her a good day. Zoe noted how out of place her words sounded after what she came here to have done. 

Zoe drove straight the childminders from the hospital, deciding not go in for her shift but spend the day with her daughter instead. "We're going to the beach baby girl" she smiled in her rear view mirror, watching her daughter chatter away excitedly. She slipped on her sun glassed, smiling at the beautiful weather. She stopped by the house, wondering how long it would be before she'd have to move out and begin a new life without her husband, and living without seeing her daughter every single day. Quickly grabbing some towels and spare clothes, conscious that she had left her daughter waiting in the car.

She pulled in at the car park on the promenade, grabbing her bag and lifting her daughter from the car seat. She laughed lightly as Sofia took her sunglasses from her head and slipped them on to her own tiny face, the glasses much wider than the width of her own face. She sat down on a bench with her and pulled out her phone, taking a picture of them both smiling in the sunshine; attaching the picture to a message to nick with the caption '_I couldn't do it...'_

She decided this was the best way to tell him, not in any mood for the argument that would ensue should she tell him face to face. Slipping her phone in her pocket she grabbed Sofia's hand and ran towards the sea with her. "I love you bear" she whispered in her ear as Sofia threw her arms up in the air and demanded that Zoe pick her up.

"Love you too, mummy" she replied, kissing her on the cheek.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sofia is two and a half, just because someone asked. I never had a distinct age for her in my head but she's a toddler and two and half seemed as good an age as any. **

Zoe's stomach churned nervously as she pulled into the driveway behind Nick's Mercedes; she wasn't sure whether this was morning sickness or the impending doom of her marriage. She looked at the sleeping girl in the back seat and sighed; she'd had the most amazing day at the beach with her and couldn't imagine a life without her in it every single day, even with the impending arrival of her brother or sister. If her and Nick got divorced she would fight tooth and nail to have custody of her daughter; Sofia was a mummy's girl, she always wanted Zoe and never Nick, especially if she was tired or upset.

She lifted her daughter carefully from her car seat, propping her head on her shoulder as she snored quietly. Steadily, she made her way into the house. "I'm back" she smiled softly at Nick, popping her head into the living room, noting the glass of whiskey that sat on the coffee table in front of him.

"Hey..." he replied quietly, aware of his daughter sleeping on her mother's shoulder. "I'll put her to bed with you" he continued, standing up and wrapping an arm around Zoe's waist, guiding her up the stairs to Sofia's room. He pulled back the covers as Zoe manoeuvred her from her shoulder, undressed her and out her into pyjamas without waking her up. "Night princess" he whispered, kissing her on the forehead; before turning to Zoe.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered, taking her by the hand and guiding her to their bedroom; two doors down the hall from Sofia's room. "I've behaved like a complete idiot" he sighed, sitting down on the bed.

"You have" she agreed, trying to make light of the situation "but it's my fault too, if I wasn't such a bitch we wouldn't have this problem" she sat down in his pal, looping her arms around his neck, enjoying the closes between them as his arms pooled around his waist.

He reached an arm out and stroked her bump gently "That's our baby" he whispered in her ear, trailing kisses along her jaw line to her mouth "I love you" he kissed her again, holding onto her tightly "both of you" he confirmed.

Zoe smiled against his mouth, wriggling herself onto the bed and lying back. She beckoned a finger at him "Are you going to show me how much?" she questioned, lifting her hips and removing her underwear from beneath her summer dress.

.

"You ready to go?" Nick called up the stairs, holding an impatient Sofia in his arms as he waited for Zoe to get ready.

"I'll be down in a minute" she replied, trying on the third dress; trying to find one that his her bump. She turned sideways in the mirror and sighed, it would have to do. She hoped people would just assume she had out on a few pounds. "I look so fat" she whined, appearing at the top on the stairs, shoes in hand.

"No you don't, you look radiant" he replied, reaching out a hand for her as she got to the bottom of the stairs; steadying her as she slipped her heels on. He kissed her gently and opened the front door for her "Let's go chunky" he chuckled, dodging to the left as she turned around to smack his arm.

Trying to hide a pregnancy working in an ED was difficult work, Zoe decided. She had been avoiding lifting patients from stretchers, always finding something else to do whilst this was happening but she knew people were becoming suspicious. She stood outside, not smoking; just hoping someone would come along and she could passively smoke for a few seconds. She smiled as a young man stood next to her pulling out a packet of cigarettes.

"Have you got a light?" he smiled at her, thanking her as she passed her emergency one from her blazer pocket over. "I'm Max, the new porter" he introduced himself.

"Zoe" she replied, smiling as he offered his hand out for her to shake.

"So what do you do here?" he asked her.

"I'm..." she began, having no chance to get her words out before he interrupted her.

"Oh let me guess" he looked her up and down "receptionist?"

Zoe snorted at his interruption, receptionist her arse. "You're close... I'm the Trauma Lead" she replied, shaking her head slightly.

"Oh sorry" he laughed, taking another draw of the cigarette. "So... Can I maybe take you out for a drink? You know, as an apology" he asked cheekily, chancing his luck.

"Well you could" she smiled at him "But I don't think my husband would approve" she raised an eyebrow at him as Nick appeared behind him, laughing silently at the exchange he had heard.

"No he certainly wouldn't Dr Hanna" Nick butted in as Max whipped his head around; having not expected the interruption. "Ready for lunch, darling?" he winked at her, holding his hand out for her to take.

"Yeah, I'm starving" she smiled at him, taking his hand and kissing him; well aware that Max was watching them intently. "See you" she turned over her shoulder to speak to Max.

"Yeah... bye" he replied, stubbing out his cigarette heading back inside.

.

"That porter fancied you" Nick laughed as they took a seat in the hospital canteen.

Zoe shook her head "Don't be daft" she replied, raising an eyebrow at him, taking a slow bite of the sandwich in front of her "Besides, I only have eyes for one man around here, and he's a lot more skilled than a porter" she winked at him.

Nick raised an eyebrow back at her; mirroring her actions "Well... if you finish that quickly he might just have time to show you how skilled" he smirked at her, standing up and taking her hand leading her straight to the on call room.

"My god" Zoe panted as she flopped backwards onto the bed "You're amazing."

Nick smiled at her, as she stood up and pulled his shirt over her naked shoulders and slipping her knickers on. "We've still got a while yet, come back to bed" he asked.

She shook her head and stood in front of him; her naked breasts and slightly swollen abdomen on show. "it looks to me like you're enjoying the view from here" she raised an eyebrow at him, placing her hands on her hips as he took out his phone and took a picture of her; standing at the foot of the bed, naked except for his shirt and her underwear. "Oi!" she chucked.

"You look amazing" Nick replied "I think I should set that as my background" he suggested.

"I don't think that's a good idea, you'd never get any work done" she laughed; well aware of the suggestive and inappropriate photos he had of her on his phone "besides don't you have enough naked photos of me?" she asked, straddling him on the bed and leaning forward to whisper in his ear "I bet I know exactly what you do, when you're in your office all alone, knowing I'm downstairs and you can't get me out of you mind." She kissed him deeply and smiled "time to get back to work" she said as she looked at the time on his phone, noting the naked picture of her that appeared when the phone sprang to life.


	10. Chapter 10

"Look I'm sorry, I have to go" Zoe interrupted her conversation with Max, she had taken to coming outside with him when he was going for a cigarette; watching someone smoke was the closest she was going to get. They had a lot in common, same taste in films, they liked the same bands and both had a penchant for hard partying. "I'll see you later yeah, I have to go and meet Nick" she hurried away, looking at her watch; not noticing the look of disappointment on Max's face.

At twenty weeks pregnant she was hiding it well, only herself, Nick and Tess were aware of the impending arrival. They were going to announce it today; all being well with her anomaly scan. She hobbled towards Nick's office, her swollen ankles limiting the heels she could wear; she was waiting until the latest opportunity before giving them up. She slipped into Nick's office and approached his desk, sitting herself down in his lap; interrupting his view of the computer he was currently working on.

"Hello to you too" he kissed her gently, running his hand along her spine enjoying the shiver he received in return.

"We need to get to that scan" she mumbled against his mouth; gripping his tie as leverage to keep him close to her, she shivered in delight as his fingers trailed up and down her spine. "Don't do it to me" she murmured, felling the heat spreading along her stomach.

"Come on then" he pushed her up and took her hand, kissing her again before leading him from the office, one hand wrapped around her waist.

Neither one of the couple noticed the porter hovering at the other end of the corridor watching them with narrowed eyes before slipping into the office they had just vacated.

Nick turned around at the lift "I've left my phone..."

"Leave it, we're late as it is" Zoe advised, dragging Nick into the lift which had just arrived. She kissed him passionately as they made their way to the fourth floor, pulling apart as the door pinged open.

.

Max made his way into Nick's office, having no idea what had possessed him to go in there in the first place. He wanted to know what was so great about this man, the one who was married to the woman he had more than a little crush on. He looked through the books on the shelf; it was clear he was intelligent, just the titles of these books stumped him. He sat down behind the desk in Nick's chair, imagining that it was his knee Zoe sat on, that he was in charge of the department and got to kiss the gorgeous Dr Hanna.

Max scrolled through the open page on Nick's computer, a very boring paper on nebulised magnesium sulphate, before spying his phone charging on the edge of the desk. He picked it up, clicking the sleep/wake button at the top, his eyes almost popping from his head when he noted the wallpaper. There before his very eyes was a picture of Zoe, Dr Hanna, wearing nothing but an open shirt and her knickers; he had never seen a more erotic picture on his life, she was perfect. He chanced his luck, hoping there was no pass code to unlock the phone; there wasn't. He immediately went to the photos, scrolling through the usual family pictures; birthday parties, Christmas and pictures of Zoe and a little girl he assumed was their daughter. Then he reached was he was hoping was there - several photos of Zoe naked or in her underwear; she was aware of some of the pictures being taken, it seemed, posing suggestively on a large bed, others were completely natural, some where she was sleeping a sheet pooled delicately at her hips. He stopped on one photo one particular; Zoe kneeling, knees slightly apart, on a four poster bed, wearing only a silk robe and stockings one hand covering her chest, the other on her hip.

He plugged the phone into the computer and selected several photos, thinking for a second before he clicked the work _print_.

.

"Look Zo" Nick breathed as the radiographer stopped at an image on the screen "There's our baby" he gripped her hand tightly and kissed her.

"It's amazing" Zoe replied, tears sliding down her cheek.

"Would you like to know the sex?" the radiographer asked.

Nick and Zoe looked at each other; they seemed to know what the other was thinking and both nodded in unison.

"It's a little girl"

Both Nick and Zoe beamed, Zoe had always assumed Nick would prefer a son but he was so besotted with the little girl they already had at home and he would love this little girl just as much.

"I can't believe it" Zoe beamed as they made their way back to the ED "I've never been so happy" she squeezed his hand as they made their way into reception, noting everyone gathered there.

"Shall we tell them?" Nick asked, wondering why everyone was so conveniently gathered there.

Zoe nodded, smiling slightly.

"Guys" she called, noticing the slight sniggers as she turned around "Me and Nick have something to tell you" she smiled at them, wondering why they were laughing, did the already know.

"Yes... we're having another baby" he smiled.

There was some polite applause, Tess and Charlie, who had just came in from lunch hugged them both. The nursed at reception were still laughing.

"What's going on?" Nick asked with a frown.

"Nothing" the nurses assured them, breaking away from the huddle they had formed.

"Max?" Zoe asked, hoping her friend would tell her "What's the joke?" she noticed the pile of papers in his hand as he tried to put them behind his back. "Let me see" she demanded, holding her hand out, he looked at the ground as he passed them to her. She sucked in her breath as she looked at the papers he had passed her, they were photos of her intimate photos that no one was ever supposed to see. Her hand shook as she looked up at Max "Where the hell did you get these?" she asked, with a vicious growl that no one had ever heard from Zoe.

Max looked at the ground, he knew how stupid he had been but he thought it would have been funny "Mr Jordan's phone" he mumbled.

Zoe passed the pictures to Nick as she began to cry, her face red with embarrassment. "How could you?" she asked Max "Why were you looking at his phone?"

She grabbed the pictures from Nick's hand "How could you leave your phone lying around?"she hissed at him.

"Zoe, I'm really sorry" Max interrupted.

She allowed Nick to pull her to his chest as she cried, she knew it wasn't Nicks fault but she needed someone to blame. "It's Dr Hanna" she hissed at him "I thought we were friends Max" she mumbled turning back to Nick, holding onto him tightly.

"Are you telling me that you went into my office, looked through my mobile phone and then decided it would be a good idea to print of private pictures of my wife?" Nick asked, in his deep baritone; a voice he only ever used when he was angry.

Max nodded "it was only supposed to be a laugh"

Zoe looked at him incredulously "What if that was your mother, sister, girl friend or even your daughter. Would it be a laugh then?" she asked him "those photos were never supposed to be seen by anyone except my _husband. _I don't get it Max, we're supposed to be friends, they don't do things like that to each other" she cried at him as Nick held onto her "Did you get off on them, is that what it was? Some weird fantasy about your boss" she chuckled nastily "I'm a married woman, and even if I wasn't I'd never fancy you."

She let go of Nick, suddenly, as a hot flush came over her. She felt herself falling, and then it all went black.


	11. Chapter 11

Zoe opened her eyes slowly, her blurred vision leaving Nick's face indistinct. She reached out a hand for him and groaned lightly. "What happened?" she mumbled.

Nick was at her side in an instant, grasping her hand gently "You collapsed, your Cortisol levels were through the roof" he smiled down at her, stroking her bump lightly "You were a bit stressed that's all"

The events of the past few hours flew through Zoe's mind; the scan, announcing their pregnancy, Max showing the photos. "Oh no" she groaned "had everyone seen them?" she began to sit up slowly, allowing Nick to support her as she done so.

"Don't worry, he's just an immature little boy" Nick placated her "they'll have forgotten about it by the morning"

Zoe snorted "I hardly think so; they have pictures of me naked, pictures that I allowed you to take. I'll never be allowed to forget it"

"Shh, it's fine" Nick replied, kissing her forehead.

"but why did he have to do it in the first place, why was he going through your phone?" Zoe fretted, beginning to cry as the severity of Max's actions hut her "I could lose my job over this" she began to panic.

"You have to calm down" Nick soothed her "this isn't good for the baby" he pulled her to his chest, stroking her back softly "shall I go and get Sofia?" he murmured to her; he knew how much she hated being away from their daughter and they were due to pick her up soon.

She looked up at him and smiled "I'd love that" she hugged him tightly as he stood up "I love you" she whispered. "Oh and bring me a McDonald's would you? I'm starving" she called cheekily to his retreating back.

Zoe lay back and closed her eyes, rubbing soothing hands into her bump. She heard footsteps approaching and smiled, Nick had forgotten to kiss her before he left; that was their routine. She was glad he came back. "Go on then, kiss me you silly man" she whispered, not opening her eyes as the footsteps approached her bed. As soon as his lips touched hers she knew it wasn't right, her eyes flew open and she spluttered "What the hell are you doing?!" she screamed as Max's face appeared before her.

**Sorry, very short update I'm swamped with exams. Now, I love Max – I think he's beautiful and Zax is perf but for the purposes of this story he's a baddy/slightly obsessed with Zoe (it's all for my story line). I will always support Zick, and continue to insist that he and Zoe should have perfect babies; sadly I do not write Casualty. **


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter is mostly just dialogue but sadly writers block is setting in, badly. I'll try and put another chapter up tonight along with my new oneshot. Please read and review.**

"Max, what on earth are you playing at?!" Zoe cried, looking at the man standing at her bedside.

"But, you... you said" Max stuttered in reply, his hands flapping nervously at his side.

"Because I thought you were my husband, for God's sake Max, I'm married. You shouldn't even be in here, I think you've done enough today" she looked at him, her brown eyes piercing into his "why did you even do it max?"

"I just came in to apologise, can we just forget the last few hours have happened? I want up to be friends, Zoe. I wanted you and Nick to fall out over those pictures, I thought maybe then I'd have a chance..." Max looked at her, lying in the hospital bed, with pleading eyes.

"Don't you get it?" Zoe raised her voice, hoping to get the message across "You've made me a laughing stock of the entire hospital, even if I wasn't married I'd never be able to forgive you for that. You shouldn't have been going through my husband's phone, or have been in his office in the first place" she began to cry, feeling hot tears pouring down her cheeks "even if you had permission to do those things, common decency would have told you that those pictures were private; I may have allowed my husband to take them but he would never, ever have shown them to anyone" she saw Nick approaching through the glass of the resus doors and wiped her eyes quickly.

Nick flung the door open as he approached, noting Max standing by his wife's bedside "I think you should leave immediately" he hissed, placing his daughter beside her mother on the bed and kissing his wife hello.

Max turned on his heel and headed towards the door "I am sorry Zoe" he added as an afterthought.

Zoe snorted loudly as he left and turned towards Sofia "Hello baby girl" she cooed at her, lifting her onto her knee and kissing her head "I've missed you bear" she whispered in her ear, smiling as she wrapped her arms around her neck and held onto her tightly.

"Love you too mummy" she whispered, snuggling closer to her.

"Did daddy bring dinner?" Zoe asked, looking at Nick with her eyebrow raised.

"He did" Nick replied, preferring the McDonalds bag towards her and kissing her.

Zoe smiled and opened the bag, handing Sofia her chicken nuggets and pulling out her burger. "Aren't you eating?" Zoe asked, looking at Nick.

"Nah, I'll just have you later" he winked at her, rubbing her shoulder lightly "How you feeling?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" she assured him, grasping his hand and leaning across Sofia to kiss him.

"Mummy, that's yucky" Sofia squealed, burying her head in Zoe's chest.

Zoe chuckled and looked down at her "Home time, I think?" she turned her face towards Nick, waiting for his approval.

"Yes I think Mummy's right" he looked at Sofia and held his arms out to pick her up "let's go"

Zoe watched Max as he bypassed resus, contemplating whether or not to tell Nick what had happened before he had returned. She decided telling him at home would be better, when his fist was less likely to meet Max's face. She took Nick's hand on her own, allowing him to carry Sofia on his hip "I love you Nick Jordan" she whispered, as they made their way to the car park.

"I love you too" he agreed.


	13. Chapter 13

Zoe paced the living room agitatedly; she was seven months pregnant with baby that wouldn't stop kicking, had a toddler propped on her hip that wouldn't stop crying and no sign of her husband who seemed to be the only person who could calm the madness. "Shh" she murmured to Sofia, walking with a bounce in her step to try and soothe her. She rubbed her back lightly, having no idea what was wrong with her child. "Come on Nick, where are you?" she muttered to herself, her eyes darting to the clock again. She sighed with relief with the doorbell rang.

"Don't tell me you've lost your keys" she smiled as she opened the door; her smile dropping and her eyes widening with shock as she seen who stood before her.

"Em... hi" Linda stuttered, looking at Zoe as if to question why she was opening the door.

"Linda? What are you doing here?" Zoe asked in amazement; she hadn't seen her best friend since her hen night a year and a half ago. She had neglected to turn up to the wedding, rarely answered Zoe's calls or texts and gave no explanation for her whereabouts. "Come in, come in" she ushered her inside and pointed her to the living room. She wasn't even sure how Linda found her; she and Nick hadn't moved into this house until after their wedding, just after Sofia's first birthday.

"Look Zoe, I wasn't actually expecting you to be here" Linda looked at the ground, and propped the small child further up on her hip as he whinged.

Zoe looked from Linda to the baby; she was waiting on Linda to bring up the child in conversation. "Then why are you here?" she asked, almost rudely; she hadn't quite forgiven her for leaving her without a bridesmaid on her wedding day. "And who's that" Zoe motioned her head to the small boy.

For the first time Linda smiled "This is Charlie, my son. I'm here to see Nick" she added, looking at Zoe with a mixture of emotions on her face.

Zoe frowned "You're here to see my husband? Why?" she asked, placing Sofia on the floor and resting both hands on her aching back, wincing with each kick that connected to her abdomen.

"That's kind of between me and Nick, he said you'd be at work just now" she looked at the clock; hoping she hadn't gotten her wires crossed and made things ten times worse.

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling great. He's covering my shifts" Zoe mumbled, looking at her phone to check if Nick had called. "So hold on, he knew you were coming and e told you to come when I was supposed to be out? Linda what the hell is going on?!" Zoe began to shout; she was feeling very wary at the moment, unsure of the situation. She looked down as Sofia began to cry at her raised voice and looked back at Linda "Sorry but could you pick her up for me, I can't bend down properly" she gestured to her swollen stomach, her eyebrow still raised as she waited on the truth from Linda.

Linda laughed and picked up her god daughter "You've gotten so big since I last saw you princess" she tickled her under the chin, smiling.

"Mummy" Sofia cried, unsure of the strange woman who held her and stuck her arms towards her mum.

Zoe reached out and took her from Linda, allowing her to attempt to position her legs around her sizeable bump. It was uncomfortable to have her daughter's pointy knees around her but if she complained Sofia would kick off and she was in no mood for tantrums. "I'm here bear, I'm right here" she kissed her head and bounced her a little; wishing her unborn child would stop kicking. "So" she looked at Linda again "Are you going to tell me why you're here without wanting to see me, your so called best friend, but my husband?"

"Look, I think Nick and I need to talk to you together" she smiled, sympathetically at Zoe.

Both Zoe and Linda looked towards the front door as it opened and Nick stepped through; throwing his briefcase at the bottom of the stairs. He looked up, sensing that he was being watched and his face dropped slightly. "Linda, what are you doing here?" he asked, stumbling over her words slightly.

Zoe's nostrils flared as she looked at him "Nick, you'd better tell me what's going on, right now" she hissed at him. She sat down heavily on the couch and rubbed her bump, trying to stop the kicks. "Well... go on" she raised her eyebrows.

Nick looked slowly between both the women and then bent down to pick up his daughter "Hello princess" he smiled, kissing her cheek. Holding Sofia was his insurance for the admission he was about to make; nothing could be thrown at him whilst he was holding his daughter.

"Look, Zoe. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, it just...happened" Linda began, sitting down beside her on the couch and taking her hand.

"What on earth are you talking about?!" Zoe cried, wrenching her hand from Linda's grasp and standing back up again.

Nick sighed and looked down and the child sitting on Linda's knee "Charlie... he's mine" Nick replied. He stepped forward to take Zoe's hand, to try and explain.

"Tell me this is a joke" Zoe replied, looking between Nick, Linda and the little boy. She did a double take on the child, she knew from looking at him that this was Nick's child. "When... how old is he?" she asked Linda; trying to piece together the nightmares.

"Nine months" Linda replied quietly.

"So you're telling me that you slept with my fiancée, the father of my children right before my wedding?" Zoe asked furiously "When exactly..." she asked, she felt sick. It seemed that Nick had gotten upon his high horse when she had slept with Matt even though he had already impregnated another woman.

"Your hen night" Linda sighed, looking down at her son and kissing his head lightly.

"This has to be some terrible nightmare" She looked at Nick "The way you acted after Matt and all the time you knew that you had another child? You're a bloody hypocrite" she snarled, she could feel the pain in her abdomen; ignoring it and looking at Nick again.

"I'm really sorry, Zoe. We honestly didn't want you to find out like this. It was a mistake, but now I have Charlie, and I wasn't going reject him"

"You've had eighteen months to tell me this, and I find out by accident, whilst I'm seven months pregnant with your second child" she replied venomously "I don't care about him" she motioned her head to the small boy on Linda's knee "I care about my children, and what used to be our marriage" she turned to look at Linda and then back at Nick "Is it her you want?" she asked.

"No, it was a onetime thing" Nick replied. "I love you Zoe" he replied.

Zoe's only reply was a snarl, she bent down, with difficulty, to take Sofia's hand "I'm leaving" she moved to the stairs, going to pack a bag; a _whoosh, _and the wet feeling on her legs stopped her in her tracks and a wave of pain made her double over. The next thing she knew she was lying at the bottom of the stairs, feeling slightly dazed; hearing the voices of many people around her.

"Mummy!"

"Zoe, baby"

"Zoe, Zoe. Can you hear me?"


	14. Chapter 14

"Nick" Zoe cried out weakly "Nick, it hurts"

Nick gripped Zoe's hand as tightly as he could; letting her know he was there for her "I'm right here, baby. I'm right here" he kissed her forehead lightly and stroked her hair from her face "You're going to be fine my darling; I promise you it will be ok. The ambulance is coming and Linda's going to watch Fifi"

"No!" Zoe demanded "Call Tess, call anyone I don't want her near my child. It's your fault that this has happened, the baby's coming nine weeks early and it's your fault!" she screamed as a contraction washed over her.

Nick looked down at her and then looked at Linda who was holding Zoe's neck in place, in case of spinal injury. "We don't have much of a choice here Zoe; you're going to have to put up with me. I don't have time for your amateur dramatics. Not while you're in labour" Nick sighed, hoping to win his wife around.

"Get the hell away from me" Zoe screamed at Nick, as Jeff and Dixie appeared "You can take your _son_ and your _lover_ and get the hell out of my life" she hissed.

Nick obligingly moved away "Linda, I think its best you go. I'll be in touch yeah" Nick sighed.

"Yeah, I hope everything goes ok. I love you Zoe, don't forget that and I am sorry" Linda called.

"Ok, love. Let's get you to hospital yeah" Dixie added, trying to calm the situation down.

"Dixie, the babies early" Zoe cried "she's nearly nine weeks early"

"Alright princess, let's get a move on then" Jeff butted in.

Zoe laughed "For the last time Collier, I'm not your princess" she tried to make light of the situation.

It took less than the usual time to get Zoe to hospital; a worried Nick and a talkative Sofia in the back with her, Zoe had point blank refused to go anywhere without her. Jeff was almost doing one hundred miles an hour as he sped along the ring road, every mile further was a higher survival rate for the little girl.

"Ok Tess; this is Zoe, thirty eight, GCS fifteen. She's in premature labour at thirty weeks and has had gas and air in the ambulance. Took a fall from a few feet up the stairs, we're worried about possible neck injury but the chance is minimal" Dixie called as the ED doors were flung open.

"Tess, can you get someone to look after Sofia for me please?" Zoe asked as they came into resus. She smiled in gratitude to the student nurse who took Sofia from Nick and left the room.

"I'm just going to examine you Zoe, obstetrics are on their way" Tess smiled at her.

"Please save my baby Tess" Zoe cried, sucking on the breathing tube as another contraction came around "I can't feel her moving, Tess. Please help"

Zoe looked at Nick "Is there a reason you're not holding my hand?" she snapped.

In an instant Nick was by her side, allowing her to squeeze his hand. He kissed her neck lightly as another contraction washed over her, her labour was nowhere near as bad the first time around, he remembered. "I love you" he whispered in her ear "I love you and only you"

"Now isn't the time" Zoe hissed; squeezing his hand again, as tightly as she could.

"Tess" Zoe called "It's time to push"

Thirty minutes of pushing later Zoe and Nick's little girl was born; she was silent.

"Go and see her" Zoe demanded to Nick, "Is she ok? Tell me she's ok" she fretted.

Tess looked at Nick as he approached the incubator, where they were trying to revive his daughter, he knew on first glance she was his child; there was absolutely no doubt about it. She was the perfect mix of him and Zoe, looking exactly like Sofia did when he was born.

"Nick, we've being doing CPR for five minutes now, mucus trap hasn't worked." Tess murmured, not wanting to alarm Zoe.

Nick took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "Ok, 0.001 of 1 in 1000 adrenaline then, on every other cycle for the next five minutes" his hands shook as he gripped onto the side of the cot "Come on princess, breath for me baby"

The squalling cry of his daughter filled resus and both Nick and Zoe let out a sigh of relief. He hugged Zoe tightly as she cried "She's alive" he murmured "she's perfect, just like you and her sister"

"Nick" Zoe whispered, looking up at him "I'm bleeding"

Nick ripped back the sheets; the blooksoaked, twisted sheets and cried out "Tess!"

As Tess ran over Nick moved to Zoe's side, watching as she slipped in and out of consciousness "Don't leave me Zoe, please don't leave me" he cried.


	15. Chapter 15

"Nick, she's going to be fine" Tess smiled as she walked out of theatre, pulling off her surgical cap and taking a seat next to him. "They've stopped the bleeding, they're just closing her up now" she took his hand; the only way she could think to comfort him, when he was in such a state. "What's happening with you two?" she inquired; worried about her friend and the woman she admired so much that was lying in an operating theatre.

"We're not good Tess" Nick admitted "We were having problems, Zoe cheated. With Matt Strong, then told me she was pregnant. I wasn't sure she was my daughter; I know she is now though she's the spitting image of Sofia, when she was born. I walked out, took Sofia with me, I even told her to have an abortion." He look at Tess, feeling the tears welling up behind his eyes; blinking furiously to try and stop them.

"It's ok, Nick. She's fine, keep going" she encouraged, clasping his hands between hers.

Nick took a deep breath and continued to talk; it felt so good not to bottle up his emotions. "We were doing so well, it felt like we were a family again; Zoe was so happy, and I know she loves me just as much as I love her, we were the perfect family, with a baby on the way. I did everything I could to help her and look after them. Like today, Zoe wasn't feeling great so I went in to do her shift, but then... then Linda showed up" He looked at Tess, pausing to wait for her reaction and taking a breath from his speech.

Tess neglected to say anything, just watching him and waiting for him to continue.

"It's my entire fault Tess, Linda was supposed to be there when Zoe was at work. I forgot she was coming and Zoe knew something was wrong. She wasn't supposed to find out like that Tess; I didn't want to hurt her." Nick felt the tears beginning again; thinking about how he had hurt Zoe.

"What are you talking about?" Tess asked; suddenly confused as to what Zoe's best friend had to do with his story.

"The night before our wedding; Zoe's hen night and you went to the cocktail bar in town. Anyway, I was in the house, Sofia was still a baby, so we had our nights out separately so one of us would be with her and Linda came to the house. She was drunk, staggering and slurring her words; she told me she'd always fancied me, told me Zoe was just using me and that I was no different to all the other men she had strung along. I knew it wasn't true, Tess; we had a child together for God's sake. She stayed at home with me though, she was too drunk to go home along and we were drinking but the next thing I know we're in bed together. She'd left before I woke up in the morning, but I knew what had happened I'd slept with someone else the night before my wedding!"

Tess looked at him, disapproval and sympathy written over her face.

"She called me, two days after I'd come back from Rome with Zoe and told me she was pregnant. Nine months later I got a call saying she'd had a little boy, I had a son. So when she showed up this afternoon, Zoe knew something was wrong and I had to tell her. She was so angry, It's all my fault Tess, my fault" Nick cried onto her shoulder.

Tess rubbed his back soothingly; she had never seen him lose control like this "It'll be ok, it'll be fine."

Nick looked her dead in the eye and sighed, "I don't think it will Tess, I think my marriage is over"


	16. Chapter 16

Nick sat in his office, staring straight down into a glass of whisky; the sting stuff he kept at the back of his filing cabinet for emergencies. He hadn't seen Zoe, or his daughter, yet though Tess had told him they were both doing well. He couldn't face Zoe, he didn't want to upset her; she'd just had major surgery. He wondered whether they had told her yet, told her that they'd had to perform a hysterectomy. His wife wouldn't be able to have any more children. The whisky burned as it made its way down his throat, a soothing burn that seemed to take the pain away. He tipped his head back in the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose, images from his marriage flashing though his mind;

"_Nick, stop it!" Zoe laughed as he tickled her mercilessly; curling up in a ball on the hotel bed to protect herself from his hands. Their wedding night; spent making love in the most spectacular city in the world, Rome. He collapsed beside her on the bed and smiled "I love you Mrs Jordan" he told her, and he meant it, he loved her more than anything in the world. She was his princess, his best friend; the one solid figure he could always turn to for support. He pulled her back against his chest, hugging her tightly and placing a kiss on the back of her neck, their life couldn't be more perfect. He listened to Zoe as her breathing levelled out and watched as she twisted herself to mould into his body; something she did every night, he seemed to stop the nightmares she had, the nightmares that she never explained, not to him or anyone else."I love you, Zoe" he whispered into the darkness as he intertwined his legs with hers and allowed himself to fall asleep. _

His head jerked forward as his phone vibrated on the desk, the three letters that appeared on the screen made his heart skip a beat; _Zoe. _He looked at the text and sighed, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

_I think we need a chat? Z. _

There were no kisses on her text, she usually sent two. With a heavy heart he stood up from the comfort of his office chair; his sanctuary and slowly made his way to the ED, to collect his daughter and then to see his wife.

.

Zoe winced in pain as she woke up, the last thing she remembered was being in resus. She knew from the colouring of the walls she was in the surgical ward; her throat felt tight and her stomach was sinking, it didn't take a consultant to figure out what had happened. The events of the afternoon came rushing back to her; _Nick had a son. _

A light gurgling noise drew her attention to the other side of her bed; her daughter was there and by the looks of things she was doing pretty well. She smiled as her daughter opened her eyes; bright blue, the same blue that every newborn had. She hoped they would stay that way, Sofia's had. She moved her hand towards the cot, allowing her to grab onto her finger. Nick needed to be here; no matter how much contempt she felt towards him, it was his day too.

The medical registrar drew her attention from the text she had just sent as he appeared in the doorway; she'd always hated the male staff on the obstetrics team. "Hi, Mrs Jordan, how're you feeling?" he asked, a polite 'I'm only doing my job' smile on his face.

Zoe snorted "Fantastic" she replied, the sarcastic bite obvious. "What's the damage then?" she asked, she wanted the facts.

The registrar looked at the floor and sighed, before moving towards her bed; not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. "You were haemorrhaging badly when we received you in theatre; we had to stop if of course. I'm sorry, but... we had to do an emergency hysterectomy"

Zoe knew what was coming, but it didn't stop the stinging as the tears welled up behind her eyes. She nodded her head slowly, a lump in her throat "O...ok" she replied. She knew the tears were about to fall "Can you leave me?" she asked, looking at him with glistening eyes; hoping he'd get the message.

He nodded in understanding and left, no words were needed to accompany his departure.

.

"Hi Daddy" Sofia chirped from her seat on the staffroom sofa, the student nurse who was keeping her occupied forgotten as her father appeared.

"Hello bear" he smiled at her, picking her up and kissing her forehead "time to go and meet your sister, eh?

Hand in hand, father and daughter walked the corridors of Holby. Nick of course knew a short cut to Keller, where Zoe was, but Sofia insisted on following the blue line that visitors had to use; Holby City was a maze to those who didn't work here. The coloured lines crisscrossing over each other reminded him of the London Underground.

Nick stopped as he approached the door to the recovery room, but his incessantly chatty daughter made their presence known immediately. "Mummy, mummy, mummy" she chanted, clapping her hands and running into the room.

"Hey, princess" Zoe whispered, aware of the sleeping baby in her arms "You need to be quiet, yeah. Your sisters sleeping and mummy's a little sore so please don't climb on the bed" she smiled. She stretched her hand out to hold Sofia's and looked at Nick "Hi" she muttered, feeling slightly awkward.

Nick leaned across the bed to kiss her, blanching as she turned her face to the side and his lips met her cheek. His hand reached out to stroke his daughters face; she was perfect. "Are you ok?" he asked, looking at her with concern.

Zoe arched her eyebrow "Oh yeah, bloody brilliant. My husband had a child with my best friend; I went in to premature labour, gave birth and then had a bloody hysterectomy. I'm fantastic" she hissed, trying not to scare either of the children in the room.

"Look... Zoe" Nick pleaded, trying to reason with her.

"No, Nick. I don't want to hear it. You're such a hypocrite, you cheated long before I did. You knew you had a baby, with my fucking best friend and you conveniently forgot to mention this when you were telling me to have a termination?! I want you gone from the house by the time I'm home from hospital" Zoe replied, her voice was calm but her words were the complete antithesis.

"No, Zoe. We can sort this out" Nick tried again, his tone almost pleading.

"No, that's it. I blame you, you and Linda for all of this; for my daughter being born nine weeks early, for the fact that I'll never be able to have another child and I. Blame. You." She punctuated those words with a jab to his chest with her finger, her anger was quite and collected but he knew it was there. Now, I'll let you see the girls, whenever you want; assuming it's convenient, which it most likely will be whilst I'm on maternity leave at least"

She looked down at her sleeping daughters and smiled, both curled up to her; one in her arms, the other at her side. "We need to name her" she whispered, looking at Nick trying to be as amicable as she could for the sake of her children, even though her gut feeling was to hate him; she wanted to lash out, to scream and shout but she couldn't not right now.

Nick smiled back at her "I chose Sofia's name, so it's only fair..." he gestured his hand at her indicating she should have the final say.

Zoe looked thoughtful for a moment "How about Lexie? Lexie Jordan?"

"It's perfect" Nick agreed.


	17. Chapter 17

In the weeks that Zoe had been released from hospital she had barely slept a wink; Nick had moved out, back to his apartment on the river and she felt lost. She wasn't used to handling two children on by herself, or sleeping alone. It was killing her. She stirred her coffee slowly, watching her two daughters sleep, she couldn't believe how well Sofia had taken to being a big sister; she wasn't jealous, constantly pining for Zoe's attention and she managed to play quietly when Lexie was sleeping. The ringing doorbell drew her attention and she frowned; she wasn't expecting visitors.

"Oh, hey" she sighed; opening to the door to be greeted by Nick's face and noticed the two gift bags he was holding.

"Hi... can I come in?" he looked unsure, almost as if he was in an unfamiliar setting. He wasn't used to having to knock on the door of his own house, he felt like he didn't belong.

Zoe stood back to let him in "Yeah... the girls are asleep though" she sighed; she really wasn't in the mood for Nick today, if he was occupied by the girls there wouldn't be a problem but they were asleep and he would want to talk. Zoe walking in behind him, wincing slightly; she was still tender from the operation and she knew she shouldn't be dealing with two children alone.

Nick took a seat at the breakfast bar with the mug of coffee he had just poured, he set the gift bags on the work top and smiled "I brought those for the girls" he frowned slightly as he watched Zoe moving, she was slow on her feet and wincing as she moved. "You ok?" he asked, touching her shoulder lightly.

Zoe flinched as his hand settled on her shoulder, she shrugged him off "fine" she snapped. She sighed heavily as Lexie started to cry, which would no doubt wake Sofia up. She groaned slightly as she bent down to lift her from the Moses basket, her scar was really bothering her. She began to unbutton her top with one hand when she realised Nick was still watching her, turning her back slightly she allowed Lexie to latch on and feed.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before" Nick laughed, noticing her shyness; he couldn't quite understand the problem, he had watched her breastfeed Sofia countless times.

"Yeah well... we're not together now, are we?" Zoe replied, turning around to look at him "It's different"

Nick frowned, "Aren't we" he looked at her "together I mean" he knew Zoe needed space but splitting up wasn't on his agenda.

"No" Zoe replied, buttoning up her top and hoisting Lexie over her shoulder to wind her "I told you; I can't forgive you for what you've done. I felt awful after the Matt incident and you, you knew that you had a child with someone else, my best friend to be exact."

"Zoe" Nick sighed "That was a mistake, a horrible mistake"

"Mm, yes it was, one that cost you your marriage. If you'd told me we could have worked things out, we could have been ok, things would get sorted; but no, you hide the fact you have another child that Sofia and Lexie have a brother. Did you ever go and visit him, pay for him?"

"I've been up to Liverpool a few times, yes. I give Linda money every month, Charlie doesn't want for anything" Nick replied; he wasn't sure whether admitting these things was a good thing or not.

"Except his father" Zoe replied, venomously "I don't really care to be honest. That child is no concern of mine, it's the two that we have together I worry about" she sat down on the couch, having put Lexie back to sleep. "Was she better than me?" Zoe asked quietly.

Nick hesitated, unsure of what Zoe wanted to hear. "She wasn't you; it's you that I want Zoe. No one else" he sat down beside her stroking his daughters cheek softly "I really want the girls to meet their brother" he whispered

Zoe looked at him "No. No way" she shook her head furiously; appalled that he was even suggesting it "The girls don't have a brother, it's just them Sofia and Lexie, our children Nick"

"But Zoe" Nick pleaded, he wanted them to get to know Charlie; Nick was ashamed of what he had done but he wasn't ashamed of his son.

"Get out" Zoe pointed at the door "Get the hell out of my house"


	18. Chapter 18

Six months, six whole months it had taken for Zoe to begin to feel normal again; she was just getting used to Nick not being around, they had settled into a routine, not an amicable one but a routine nonetheless. Her routine was begging to form; she needed that now she was returning to work. She struggled to imagine what it would be like working with Nick now, not having a cuddle in the office at lunch time, not arriving and leaving together, having no one that would be there to fight her corner no matter what. They hadn't being getting along well, Nick wouldn't accept that Zoe was finished, she couldn't take anymore arguing. She sat down quietly, laying Lexie in the Moses basket so she was in her sight; her children were still asleep for the first time in a while.

Zoe couldn't remember the last time she's had peace, she wasn't sure whether she enjoyed the silence not; it made her think. She remembered the last argument she'd had with Nick she couldn't remember being so angry with him, he'd completely gone against her wishes:

"_What did you do today, princess" Zoe asked as she picked Sofia up and spun her around. They'd been out with Nick for the day, their first outing with him as part of the custody agreement. _

"_We went bowling, and to the soft play mummy" Sofia smiled as she wrapped her arms around her mums neck "I missed you though, I wish you were there"_

"_I know bear but you had fun with daddy, didn't you?" Zoe asked, she wanted her to get used to the idea of Nick and her being separate. _

"_Yeah, but daddy helped Charlie more than he helped me" Sofia sighed; she didn't understand why the other little boy was getting all of her daddy's attention. _

_Zoe raised her eyebrow looking at Nick, she was going to kill him."I'm sure it's cause you were so good bear, you're a big girl aren't you" she tickled her, "Lexie's sleeping in the living room, will you check if she's awake for me?" she smiled as she put her down and watched her run into the living room._

_Zoe turned to Nick, who looked slightly sheepish "What does she mean you 'helped Charlie more than her'?!" She hissed at him, furious that he had disobeyed her instructions not to introduce them. "I specifically told you not to take him anywhere near her, and you ignore me, then you play favourites?" _

_Nick shook his head "I wanted her to know her brother Zoe, and I wasn't playing favourites, he just needed more help than she did..."_

It had taken her three weeks to allow him to take Sofia out again, he came around to see Lexie but she never settled well with him so outings and sleepovers weren't an option.

.

Zoe looked in the mirror, running the straighteners through her hair in a mad dash to make it to work on time; she didn't want to give Nick a reason to gripe at her on the first day back. She looked at Sofia and smiled, she was standing next to Lexie who was currently strapped into her car seat babbling away to herself, and Sofia was so protective of her.

It broke Zoe's heart listening to Lexie's screams as she dropped her off at the nanny's, Sofia was more than happy there, she'd been with Elizabeth since she was eight months old but it was all so new for Lexie.

"Morning" Zoe smiled to the staff gathered at the nurse's station, she found herself amidst a flurry of 'welcome back's', 'how are you?' and 'how's the children?' from the staff' her colleagues and friends. Her eyes met Nicks across the station, a weak smile in exchange for a weak smile. She wrapped her stethoscope around her neck, falling immediately from 'mummy' mode and straight into 'doctor' mode.

Three patients down and Zoe was back into the swing of being a doctor, she had called to check on her daughters during her break, they were both happy. She picked up her next patient card, looking around the ED; she reminisced on the years she'd worked there, all the staff she'd had the pleasure of working with some she know called friends,_ Jay, Adam, Lenny and Kirsty..._ It was only as she turned towards the cubicle that housed her next patient she spotted the platinum blonde hair, blue scrubs and bright pink stethoscope. _Linda._

She slammed the card back down on the desk and turned swiftly on her heel, marching towards Nick's office. She barged in without knocking "You have got to be fucking kidding me" she raged, slamming her hands down on Nick's desk.

He looked back up at her; she always was sexy when she was angry. He knew immediately what she was talking about "She needed a job Zoe, we needed a nurse" he explained. He stood up and moved around the desk, he could see she was becoming more upset and he took her in his arms, surprised she never resisted. It had been six months since he'd held her in his arms; there was no denying that he missed her. He rubbed her back soothingly as she cried.

"She's the woman who ruined our marriage Nick" Zoe cried, banging her fists against his chest. She sank into his arms as he hugged her, sniffling slightly she looked up at him "I'm sorry, I'm just hormonal" she could see his intention in his eyes as his head bent towards her and her lips met his. She returned his kisses passionately; running her hands through his hair, before trying to push him away "We shouldn't be doing this" she mumbled against his lips; her reluctance diminishing as he attacked her lips, it had been six months since they'd been together, since she'd been with anyone "It's not right" she mumbled.

Nicks hands slid slowly down to her bum "We're married, of course it is." He contradicted her, kissing her again. She didn't resist anymore after that.


	19. Chapter 19

**Short update tonight, can't decide whether I want to reunite them or keep them arguing for a little while longer. It will always be a happy ending though; can't have Zick apart in the show and in the story that's just cruel. If you're kind enough to review (which I love reading) then let me know your opinion on happy loved up Zick, or arguing and possibly in a love triangle Zick! Anyway, enjoy! **

"Why do you do these things to me?" Zoe sighed, cuddled into Nick's lap on the chair in his office. Her hand stroked down his hip chest softy, playing lightly with exposed chest hair. "Don't think this means I've forgiven you" she slapped his shoulder, he always managed to claw her back, no matter how angry she was one kiss from hi could turn her whole mood around; she was surprised she'd lasted six months, she was unsure she'd manage to last six days without him.  
"I know, but I'm trying Zoe" Nick huffed in return; he really did want to make things right between them. Their antics in his office seemed to have done the trick I'm softening her though. "I want to come home" he continued, massaging her earlobe gently between his thumb and forefinger "I want to be there for you, and our children. You can't do everything by yourself Zoe, it isn't fair on you." He kissed her neck, sucking the flesh gently between his lips.  
Zoe sighed in response, Nick Jordan was her weak spot; there was nothing she could do to resist him when he turned on the charm. "My God I've missed you" Zoe sighed in pleasure as his lips made their way to her breasts, still partially exposed from her unbuttoned shirt. "You can come home, I suppose but we have to have rules. We can't keep arguing, it's not good for us or the girls and I don't want to end of resenting you Nick." She pressed a kiss to his shoulder and looked at him "I do love you, you know" she smiled.  
"And I love you" he agreed, working his hands underneath her shirt, trailing his fingers up and down her spine. "I'm really sorry, Zoe. I never, ever wanted to hurt you"  
"I know, but you did" Zoe frowned, "forget it, it's in the past" she slipped her hands down his chest and into his trousers teasing lightly with her nails "so Mr Jordan, do you have time for round two?" She grinned cheekily.

.

Zoe watched from the kitchen as Nick played with the girls, she had never seen him look so happy. Sofia hadn't let him out of her sight since they returned home from their shift, three hours ago. Lexie was still unsure of him; she much preferred the reassuring presence of her mother.

"You know, I think we need a holiday..." Zoe sighed, as she sat at the dinner table looking out the window at the sunset. She was glad she had Nick back, as much as she was angry at him she'd rather be angry and married that an angry divorced single mother.

"Mm" Nick agreed, nodding. "You pick the place and we'll go. Me, you, Sofia and Lexie" he gripped Zoe's hand across the table and kissed it lightly "anywhere you want" he confirmed. He'd pay all the money in the world to keep Zoe happy; anything that was necessary.

Zoe smiled, moving around the table to sit on his knee "I'm glad you're back" she whispered against his neck "I've missed you." She raised her head up to kiss him, cupping her cheek with his palm "I love you, Nick Jordan" she sighed.

Nick smiled and stroked her back gently "I love you too, Mrs Jordan. More than you'll ever know!" he kissed her back, letting his love for her be translated into the kisses, his hand stroking her thigh softly "Shall we go to bed?" He asked, his question mumbled as he suckled lightly on her pulse point.

"I think we should" Zoe replied, standing up and leading him towards her, their, bedroom leaving a trail of clothes in her wake.

"It's good to be home" Nick panted as he rolled off Zoe and pulled her to his side "I'm sure Linda's glad of the peace too" he chuckled.

Zoe sat up quickly, quicker than she intended causing the blood to rush to her head "What do you mean by that?" she snapped, huffing and quickly pulling her pyjamas on; no longer feeling comfortable with their nakedness.

Nick looked at her, rather bemused "Well she's been living with me, till she gets back on her feet..."

**So I've tried to leave this open so it could go with way; kiss and make up (again) or screaming row (again) I'd enjoy writing both. Please review and leave your opinion. If it's a kiss and make up situation then I think I'll only be able to squeeze out a few more chapters. Hope you enjoyed anyway! **


	20. Chapter 20

"You have got to be kidding me?" Zoe hissed, rolling out of bed and pacing the room; never in a million years did she think her husband would move her ex best friend into his apartment.

Nick propped himself up on his elbows and watched her "she didn't have anywhere to go Zoe. What was I supposed to do, leave her and my son homeless?"

Zoe stopped and looked at him, a frown dancing on her forehead "there are a million things you could have done Nick, told her to bugger off back to Liverpool, not give her a job at the hospital where I work. Couldn't you have gave her the deposit for a flat or something?" She resumed her pacing, muttering to herself about Linda. She came to a halt, rather suddenly and turned to face Nick again "did you…" The words choked in her mouth as she tried to speak "have you slept with her, again? Since she's been living with you?" She didn't want to ask the question; wanted to hear the answer even less, but she knew exactly what Nick was like. He wouldn't have lasted six months without sex, she struggled, it took every fibre if her being not to drag Nick straight to bed when he came to visit the girls.

Nick faltered, taking a deep breath "well… Yeah" he sighed; he'd really hoped Zoe wouldn't find out about it, Linda had came onto him a few times but he hadn't resisted.

Zoe threw her hands up in the air in exasperation "Well that's just great. Not only did she give you a son before I did, you've been sleeping with her whilst I've been recovering from a major operation and taking care of two babies. Thanks Nick, that's a lot." She left the room after that rant, sliding into bed beside Sofia and holding her tight, her tears dampening the little girls pillow case as they fell.

.

Nick was gone when Zoe woke up the next morning, she was dreading going into work to face him and Linda. Carefully, she picked up a half sleeping Lexie and dressed her in a clean baby grow. She went about her routine as usual; feeding Lexie, getting ready and then waking up Sofia to get her dressed and fed.

It wasn't until she was applying her makeup that she noticed the love bites marring her neck; a reminder of yesterday, her husband and another argument. She rubbed concealer over them hoping to blur them into her skin, as if it would blur the memories of her cheating husband.

Only the highest heels and tightest skirt gave Zoe the confidence to walk into the ED that morning, she rubbed a hand across her forehead, she as ten minutes late and in a foul mood; Lexie had been particularly clingy this morning and then decided to be sick on her as she was leaving to take them to the childminders. It seemed the welcoming committee were waiting for her as she walked into the ED.

"You're late, Dr Hanna" Nick called to her as she entered the double doors, where he was stood chatting to Noel at reception, her eyes narrowed as she noticed Linda at his side, her hand on his forearm.

"Yeah sorry" she replied dismissively, her eyes still fixed on Linda "Lexie was being clingy, my children are more important than being on time"

"Our children" Nick corrected her.

Zoe raised an eyebrow, drawing her eyes from his to where Linda still hadn't removed her hand from Nicks arm "I don't think so" she replied, smiling sweetly before walking off to the staff room.

Throughout the day Zoe was ignoring all of Nick's attempts to speak to her she has hidden away inns cubicles; it wasn't her favourite place but Nick and Linda were both in resus – the blonde haired nurse seemed to thrive on following Nick around just to piss her off. The arrival of the orthopaedic surgeon drew her from her thoughts and she smiled brightly at him, she watched him work, assisting him on pulling the broken hip back into place before surgery.

"Dr Hanna" he called, pulling her back into the cubicle as the porter wheeled her, now his, patient away. " you don't fancy going for a drink tonight, do you?" He smiled at her; most of the hospital seemed to know that her and Nick had separated but he was the first who had made any attempt to ask her out.

"Yeah, ok. I'd like that" she smiled at him, pulling her phone from his pocket so her could put her number in "I'll text you my address and you can pick me up at eight?" She smiled; she hadn't felt this happy in a while, it was her first date in almost a year, and the first in almost three that wasn't with Nick.

She walked into his office unannounced, she always did. She didn't know whether he was surprised or not to see Linda sitting on the sofa chatting away as Nick typed on the computer. Completely ignoring Linda she looked at Nick "you couldn't come over tonight could you? About seven thirty?" She asked, a smile on her face; shed neglected to mention that she needed him to babysit but he was their dad, as much as she wished that wasn't true, it was his job to look after them.

"Yeah, of course" he smiled back at her; glad they were getting the opportunity to talk.

Linda watched this exchange with a frown "Nick, we're supposed to be taking Charlie to the soft play tonight" she butted in.

"Well he's busy now, and if he wants to see his children he'll do as I ask" Zoe replied, heading for the door; she was in no mood for her games. "Our children come first, I hope you remember that Nick." She called back to him as she left.

.

Zoe smiled as she looked in the mirror, she couldn't remember the last time she'd had the chance to get dressed up. She ran the straighteners through her hair one last time and applied her lipstick. She twirled in the mirror and slipped on her heels, feeling like a teenager again.

The doorbell rang as she was feeding Lexie "come in" she called, hoping Nick would hear and she wouldn't have to move, as the babies eyes were drooping slightly.

Nick let himself in and headed through to the living room, he did a double take as he noticed the black figure hugging dress and high heels Zoe was wearing "you look nice" he smiled, a little confused as to why she was so dressed up.

"Thanks" Zoe smiled, passing the baby to Nick as she fluffed up her hair again "I shouldn't be too late" she said, looming at him through the mirror.

"What do you mean?" Nick replied confused as to what was happening.

"Dr Fraser from ortho is taking me out" she replied, a slight smirk on her face as she noticed the jealousy that momentarily settled in his eyes.

"So you want me, your husband, to babysit while you go on a date with another man?" He asked, becoming angry.

"Well your hardly one to lecture me, are you? You're sleeping with my best friend behind my back" she hissed at him. "I have it go" she ended the conversation as the doorbell rang.

"Don't wait up" she called, pulling the door shut behind her and linking her arm into Mark's.


	21. Chapter 21

"This alright?" Mark asked, looking around the restaurant. He'd picked a quite Italian by the river, traditional and served very good food.

"Yeah, it's fantastic" Zoe smiled, twirling her pasta around her fork, she was impressed that he'd managed to pick one of her favourite restaurants in the city; she just wished she could get Nick out of her head, he always brought her here to cheer her up. Mark had been the perfect gentleman all night; he'd taken her coat, held out her chair and listened to her talking snout the children. As much as she tried to push him from her mind Nick was constantly at the forefront; she compared every little detail of him to Mark but no one compared to Nick Jordan.

.

Nick sighed as he sat in the sofa, watching Lexie sleeping in her moses basket; it felt weird for him to be playing babysitter to his own children but he relished spending time with his daughters. As much as he'd loved getting to know his son he wasn't liking Linda so much, she seemed to have a strange idea that they'd be greeting together but there was noting attractive about her to him; Zoe was the only woman he wanted.

He stood up as Lexie began to cry, he picked her up and kissed her forehead rocking her back and forth. As much as it pained him to admit it Lexie wasn't comfortable with him, he wasn't around enough for her to recognise him as her father. Her cries turned into screams as Nick rocked her gently, watching the clock. Twenty minutes later, she was still screaming so much so that Sofia had woken up and was lying on the couch with a bottle of milk, she was becoming upset as she noticed Zoe wasn't anywhere in the house.

Nick was at his wits end he sighed heavily and picked up his phone "Hi, yeah… Well no Lexie won't settle with me you're going to have to come home"

.

Zoe hadn't laughed this much in a long time, they were sat in a booth of a cocktail bar sipping mojitos. She'd heard all about Marks life; where he'd grown up, went to medical school and his he'd just came out of a three year relationship. He had a little girl, Amelia, she was two. Zoe had been pleasantly surprised when she'd found out had sole custody of her. They had agreed to meet up with this kids and let them play, even if their relationship didn't go anywhere their children would have made new friends.

"Sorry" Zoe apologised as her phone lit up and Nicks name appeared on the caller ID.

"What is it?" She asked, hoping he wasn't playing games with her "ok, I'm on my way" she hung up and made her way back to Mark "I'm really sorry, I have to go. The baby won't settle"

"That's fine, I'll see you home" he smiled flagging down a cab and helping her in. He got out first, asking the driver to wait for him, he took her hand and walked her to her front door.

She smiled at him, feeling like a teenager on her first date, he pulled her to him as they reached her front door, watching her for a second before leaning close and kissing her.

Zoe felt the sparks fly as his lips joined with hers; she parted her lips slightly allowing her tongue to join with his.

They both pulled away sheepishly as the front door opened "if you're quite finished" nick huffed, Lexie still in his arms "your daughter needs you"

Zoe quickly took the baby from Nick and kissed her forehead, rocking her hips slightly to soothe her. She turned back to Mark "I really enjoyed tonight, I'll give you a text, yeah" she smiled as he took Lexies hand in his and shook it slightly, Zoe was amazed as she immediately quietened down. He turned to Nick and stuck out his hand "nice to meet you" they held each other's gaze for a few seconds, Nick showing no sign on reciprocating, Mark dropped his hand and kissed Zoe on the cheek "I'll see you" he smiled before heading away.

"Good night?" Nick asked, not happy with the display he had witnessed outside.

"Excellent" Zoe replied smugly, heading up the stairs with Lexie "can you see yourself out? I'm quite tired and I'm on early tomorrow"

Nick left without a word, slamming the door slightly behind him.


	22. Chapter 22

Mark and Zoe's relationship was progressing well, they had been officially dating for almost three months; their daughters got along well, they were comfortable with each other situations and small traces of the other person were appearing in their respective houses. The only person who didn't seem to take their relationship well was nick:

_"I want to take the girls to my mothers this weekend" Nick told Zoe as she left work that evening, he knew all about Zoe and Marks budding relationship and tired to have the girls as often as he could, he didn't want Lexie becoming confused as to who her daddy was. _

_"Sorry" Zoe looked at him, frowning slightly "Mark's parents have a cottage in France, we're taking the girls there for a few days; we've already got the time off" she shook her head at him, smiling sadly "can you take them next weekend? I'll make sure we aren't doing anything" she asked in hope that Nick could be an adult and accept the compromise. _

_"Yeah, I suppose that will be fine. My mums looking forward to meeting Lexie, she is almost ten months now" nick replied, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He missed Zoe so much, no matter what he done she was still unforgiving; Linda had moved back to Liverpool last month, taking Charlie with her. He missed his son, he missed his daughters too; he basted seeing them so relaxed with the presence of another man in the house. _

Zoe gripped Marks hand in hers as they strolled along the beach, the gorgeous scenery of Southern France surrounding them "it's beautiful here" she sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder as he pulled her closer, his arm draped lightly across her back. They both smiled as the girls paddled in the shallow waters of the sea, kicking the water up to splash each other and screaming when the water made contact with them.

"Mummy" Sofia called, waving an arm and beckoning her to join them "come and play" she jumped up and down, laughing hysterically at the ripples of the water around her.

Zoe turned to Mark and smiled, "shall we go and play?" She asked, kissing him lightly before walking ahead, her hips swaying rhythmically. She screamed as Mark ran behind her and picked her up, running with her towards the sea. "Don't you dare" she screamed as he threatened to drop her into the water, she struggled lightly, twisting in his grasp "you'll pay for this" she whispered in his ear.

He raised an eyebrow at her and grinned "I certainly hope so" he replied, holding her securely in his arms and kissing her. He raised his head and looked at the girls "what do you think Sof, shall we let mummy go?"

Sofia clapped her hands, laughing delightedly "yeah, yeah" she chanted, jumping up and down.

Mark smiled at Zoe and laughed "you heard her" he walked into the sea a little further and bent his knees before letting her go into the sea.

Zoe emerged from under the water, spluttering. "You're getting it" she cried, grabbing his ankle and pulling him down with her.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, passionately. " I think it's nap time for the girls" he whispered in her ear, kissing down the side if her neck.

Her hands cupped his bum under the water as she forced her hips closer to his "I think you might be right" she replied standing up and grabbing Sofia around the waist as she tried to dart off "home time bear" she kissed her head and propped her in her hip, taking Amelia's hand and allowing Mark to push the buggy as they headed back to the cottage.

Zoe sighed as she propped her head on Marks chest, the sheets twisted around them in the humid air of their bedroom. "I love it here" she whispered into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck and stretching up to kiss him.

"It's amazing" he agreed, his fingers gently tracing patterns into her spine "we can come back here whenever you want" he smiled "just us, next time. You and I, no distractions" he kissed her forehead gently, as her eyes fluttered closed.

Zoe twisted in her sleep, images of Nick rolling through her head. She couldn't deny how much she missed him; the only man she has ever truly loved. It hurt to think of them as 'just friends' no longer partners, lovers or husband and wife. She liked Mark, she truly did, he was a lovely man. It she never expected it to be anything more than a quick fling; she as good at those. Her eyes flew open in the dark room, she could hear Mark snoring beside her; she grabbed the sheets from the bed, wrapping them tightly around her and headed to the bathroom, mobile in hand.

She sat down on the toilet lid and scrolled through her phone looking for the one person she craved to speak to, the one person who would answer her calls day or night; _Nick_.

A tear slowly slipped down her cheek, as the phone rang, and rang… She was dismayed when her never picked up and his voice appeared on the voicemail.

As much as she tried to deny it to herself she was still, well and truly, in love with Nick Jordan.


	23. Chapter 23

"You called me." Nick stated bluntly, interrupting Zoe's thoughts as she had her morning cigarette; he had watched her for a few minutes before approaching her, he wanted to know why she had called and he wished he had picked up when she did.

Zoe looked up at him, taking another draw of her cigarette "you never answered" she replies, smiling sadly. She dropped her cigarette to the ground, stubbing it out with her heel. As she moved to walk away Nick blocked her path, she frowned at him "was there something else?" She asked snapping at him slightly.

"Aren't you going to tell me what you wanted?" He asked, pushing her around the corner and standing in front of her so she couldn't escape him.

"Well it doesn't matter now does it" she sighed, looking up at him as he towered over her; she bit her lip gently as she watched him trying to formulate a reply. The only thought in her mind was his much she wanted to kiss him.

"But it obviously did, or you wouldn't have called me at three in the morning. What was it, Zoe. Tell me why you called" he promoted, pushing her for an answer.

"I just wanted to talk to you" she sighed, her body slumping back against the wall. She touched his arm lightly as he stared at her; obviously wanting a better explanation "I miss you, ok" she admitted; a defeated sigh leaving her lips.

Nick looked around and bent his head down to her level, waiting for her to make the first move "are you going to show me how much?" He whispered to her, unsurprised when she grabbed the lapel of his jacket and pulled him down, crashing her lips into his.

He'd allowed her to take control of the kiss, Zoe noted, as he tongue worked it's way into his mouth. Her hand came around the back of his neck toying lightly with the short hair she found. "That show you how much?" She asked, tearing her lips away from his as panting slightly. Her hand rested if his chest; the pounding if his heart could be felt against her palm.

"I'll meet you in my office in ten minute, you can show me then how much you've really missed me" he grinned at her, slapping her bum lightly as she walked away.

.

Zoe counted seven minutes and fourteen seconds before she made her way to Nicks office; as usual she walked in, unannounced. He looked rather relaxed Zoe noted, sitting in his chair filling in paperwork. He never acknowledged her presence, just indicated for her to come closer to him. She sat on his desk, stopping him from his work and trapped her between her legs. She used his tie for leverage this time, pulling his up to kiss her and wrapping her thighs around his hips. In less than three minutes he had her begging; his hot kissed trailed along her neck, making a path down her stomach, where her unbuttoned shirt exposed her flesh. She cried out in pleasure as he flung her legs over his shoulders and pressed his hot kisses along her thighs "just do it" she moaned, gasping as he pushed himself into her. "I love you" she mumbled against his chest as they panted in exertion.

Nick looked at her smugly "So, what do you say? Can we try again?"


	24. Chapter 24

Mark had taken their break up surprisingly well, Zoe mused as she drove home. He had called to tell her he had some news; he'd been offered a job in France and asked Zoe if she'd be willing to go with him. She told him on no uncertain terms that she couldn't upheave her children and move them to the continent, which he'd completely understood, there had been no need to even bring Nick Jordan's name into it.

The sound of laughter greeted Zoe as she walked through the front door; Nick was home, officially, for the first time in ten very long months. She followed the sound of squeals and giggles up the stairs to the bathroom; she snorted lightly at the sight. Nick was on his knees I front of the bathtub trying to control a very rambunctious Sofia from splashing water in her sister eyes, whilst he washed Lexie's hair without getting the baby shampoo in her face. "Need a hand?" She chuckled, rolling up the sleeves of her shirt and kneeling down beside him, taking the jug from his hand to wash Lexie's hair. She has her washed and out of the bath in double time, after looking at Nick whose shirt was soaked through; the only think she could think of was dragging him to the bedroom and ripping it from him. She dried her quickly, slipping her into baby grow and taking her to the living room to give her bottle. She sang to her softly as she fed, rocking her in her arms, gently back and forth. "I love you" she whispered kissing her forehead as the infants eyes began to droop. As quietly as she could she made her way to the nursery, switching on the lamp and laying the little girl in her crib; the solid mahogany had cost them a fortune but it had been perfect when Sofia had used it and it was just as perfect now. Pulling the door shut behind her she made her way into her eldest daughters room just as Nick tucked the covers around her chin and kissed her goodnight. "Night night princess" she whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear and kissing her forehead.

"Love you mummy" shape whispered in her ear, wrapping her arms around Zoe's neck to pull her in for a cuddle "I'm glad daddy's home" she smiled.

Zoe wrapped the covers around her tighter "I am too" she whispered back kissing her agin before retreating from the room and pulling the door closed behind her. She turned to Nick, who'd been waiting by the door, and wrapped her arms around his neck "I think…" she whispered kissing him "we should get you out of those wet clothes" she winked at him, turning around and leading him to the second floor of their house where the bedroom was.

.

"You're amazing" Zoe panted as Nick rolled off of her, and pulled her to his side, his hand stroking lightly up and down her thigh.

"I know" he grinned smugly. They lay together in a comfortable silence, happy with just being together listening to the sound of the rain lashing against the window. He cracked one eye open as he felt Zoe's hand trail up his thigh, her nails teasing him ever so lightly back to life. "Don't tell me you're ready for round two, Mrs Jordan" he grinned, rolling over and pinning her to the bed.

"You know me, Mr Jordan" she smiled "I'm always ready" she wrapped her legs around his waist, her knees holding his hips in a vice like grip as he pushed into her "nick" she choked out, sighing in pleasure; her back arched as his fingers worked their magic. The sound of furious knocking on the door interrupted their antics, the door bell ringing incessantly followed by Lexie's screaming as the noise woke her. "For the love of God" Zoe sighed, as the racket reached their ears. She rolled out of bed, pulling Nicks shirt onto her shoulders and heading for the door, which was still being chapped.

"You look hot like that" Nick called after her.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming" she called to their late night visitor, taking the stairs two at a time. She opened the door, furiously; angry at their incessant chapping, the lateness of the hour and the fact they had been interrupted. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" She growled, taking in the sight of her ex best friend; child propped on her hip, both of them soaked to the core.

"I need help" Linda whispered, trying to soothe the child on her hip.

Zoe stood back and opened the door, letting them in. "Nick" she called furiously, waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs "this is your mess." She bypassed him on the stairs as she went to check on the children, she gestured to the living room "sort it" she demanded.


	25. Chapter 25

Zoe woke early the next morning, the cold empty sheets behind her were disconcerting. She made her way to the middle floor of the house, checking on the sleeping girls. Sofia was still sound asleep, her duvet twisted around her little body. She made no argument as Zoe untangled her limbs and tucked the duvet securely around her body. Lexie, on the other hand, was already awake. Zoe could hear her babbling as she approached her nursery, she poked her head around the door, barely making out the baby in the dimly lit room. She picked her up smiling as Lexie made a grab for her hair and rocked her gently, it didn't take long for the baby doze off again in her mothers arms.

She tiptoed down the stairs, trying not to disturb the sleeping girls as she went in search of her husband. She found him easily, sleeping on an chair in the living room, his neck cricked at an unfortunate angle. "Nick" she whispered, nudging him gently "Nick, come back to bed" she turned to look at Linda, asleep on her couch with her son, their son, her face filled with frown lines. She drew the blanket from the back of the couch over them and turned back to Nick, whose eyes had finally opened.

"Hey" he whispered, rolling in neck in gentle circles in a future attempt to relive the tension. He frowned as he noticed the woman and child asleep on the sofa. He remembered the events of last night; being in bed with Zoe, Linda showing up in a mess because she'd gotten herself into trouble with a loan shark and needed his help. He was unsure how Zoe would take it, when he'd tell her that Linda wanted to return to Holby for the third time. "Shall we go to bed?" he asked, holding his hand out for Zoe and leading her up the two flights of stairs to their bedroom.

"I love you Nick" Zoe whispered, his hard body against her back, holding her securely in her arms "but she can't keep showing up here, she's ruining us" she sighed.

Nick squeezed her tighter, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck "I know" he agreed "I'll fix it, I promise"

.

Zoe waited patiently until she knew Nick was definitely asleep, the sun had barely risen as she left her bed for the second time to head back downstairs. She wasn't quiet this time, heading into the kitchen to boil the kettle and make herself a cup of tea before heading through to the living room, slamming the door shut behind her. She smiled in satisfaction as Linda jerked awakes, looking around wildly.

"what the fuck?" She growled, seeing Zoe standing in front of her.

Zoe stool calmly, taking a slow sip of her coffee before addressing Linda "I want you gone." She told her in no uncertain terms, "I want you out of our lives by the end of today"

Linda smiled smugly a her "but Nick doesn't want us gone, not when I'm the one that gave him a son, something you've got no chance of ever doing"

Zoe inhaled sharply at her words, feeling like she'd just been stabbed, she took a deep breath trying to remain calm "that's strange, because Nick told me in bed ten minutes ago that he'd do anything to get rid of you; to keep me in his life, he loves me Linda, he doesn't go for cheap tarts"

Linda looked at her, shocked at how Zoe was speaking to her "I'm going no where" she replied.

"How much?" Zoe asked, moving across the living room to take her cheque book from her bag.

"What?!" Linda looked incredulous

"How much money do you want? How much will it cost for you to go and never return?" Zoe asked slowly, trying to make herself as clear as possible. "What's your price Linda, how much?"

Linda looked shocked "so you write me a cheque and I go? You're trying to buy me?"

Zoe began to get angry "I want you out of my life, you're wrecking my marriage, my life. So tell me your bloody price"

Linda looked up slowly and grinned "thirty grand" she raised her eyebrow waiting for Zoe's reply "I want thirty thousand pounds"

"Fine" Zoe replied, adding her flowery signature to the bottom and handing it to her "now go" she pointed at the door "and don't ever come back, here." Zoe slammed the door behind her and headed back to bed, sliding in beside Nick with a contented smile on her face. She had won.


	26. Chapter 26

"Where is she?" Nick asked, as he entered the living room; surprised to find Zoe alone, sipping a cup of coffee with a copy of _Vogue_ on her lap.

Zoe looked up, she hadn't heard him enter "she's gone, asked for money and she left" Zoe replied calmly, flicking through the magazine. There was no need for Nick to know she'd pain Linda off without her asking.

"What?!" Nick choked; surprised by Zoe's answer "I promised I'd help her, I said I'd sort the debt. How much did she want?" He asked curiously, wondering how much his son's life was worth to her.

"Nick…" Zoe sighed, she didn't want to tell him.

"How much Zoe?"

"Thirty grand" Zoe replied, wringing her hands nervously.

Nick looked stunned "and that's it she's gone?" He asked, smiling slightly; it seemed he and Zoe were getting back on track.

"That's it" Zoe confirmed, she smiled at him knowing exactly how they should celebrate "now, I've taken the girls to Tess' for the day so… How about we go back to bed?" She smiled cheekily.

"I like that idea very much" he replied, extending his hand towards her and leading her to their bedroom.

.

Nick watched from his position on the bed as Zoe undressed; undoing the row of buttons on her shirt, sliding her jeans down her legs and unclamping her bra.

"Do you want the honours?" She winked gesturing to her lace knickers.

Nick kneeled on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her down and pinning her beneath him "all in good time" he whispered kissing her; today would be all about her. His perfect wife. His kissed her again, his tongue battling with hers. "I love you" he whispered in her ear, grazing his teeth on her earlobe and kissing down her neck. He could feel her pulse racing as he kissed her neck, her feet locked around his bum, pressing his hips into hers, he could feel the heat radiating from her.

"Jesus Nick" she mumbled, feeling his arousal pressing into her thigh. She kissed him to stop her moans echoing throughout the room as his teeth grazed her nipple.

Nick looked at her and grinned "there's no one here, you can be as loud as you want" with a wink he kissed further down her body, leaving a love bite in her hip bone as he slid her knickers down her legs. His kisses trailed from her ankles to her thigh, suckling lightly on her inner thigh; his hand resting against her pelvic bone, fingers rubbing lightly, teasing her.

"Yes!" She cried, as he finally pushed into her, the familiar stretching feeling sending butterflies to her stomach, a feeling that would never get old. Her moans bounced off the walls and Nick showed her the true meaning of pleasure. "I love you" she whispered against his chest, teasing the light smattering of hair softly.

"I love you too" he agreed, trailing his hand along her spine "more than you could ever imagine"


	27. Chapter 27

It seemed to Zoe that for the first time, in a long while, her and Nick were finally getting their marriage back in track. In the few days since Zoe had asked Linda to leave them alone she and Nick had reconnected. They had spent the past two days as a family, doing normal family things with no interruptions; they played with their children, took them in outings and had their alone time whilst the girls slept all without the constant worry of the ED or Linda in their minds.

They followed their normal routine as they got ready for their shift; everything happening as it did every other day until the walked through the doors to the ED.

"Mr Jordan?" Noel called, waving at him to get his attention.

Nick raised an eyebrow, heading over to Noël with Zoe, their hands firmly locked together "Yes, Noël, what's the problem?" Nick asked bemused as to what could be so urgent at this time in the morning; his shift wasn't due to start for another twenty minutes.

"Well… Em… The staffroom" Noel mumbled, pointing in its direction.

Zoe and Nick shared a look of confusion at Noel's strange behaviour. They headed in its direction, to find Tess sitting with a small boy, who was crying incessantly on the sofa.

Tess raised her head as they entered, trying to calm the young child down. "I think this belongs to you" she looked at Nick. She stood up and Nick finally seen the face of the child, Charlie.

He took him from Tess and rubbed his back.

"Daddy" he sniffled, clinging onto Nicks lapels.

"What is he doing here?" Nick asked Tess, confused as to why he wasn't with his mother.

"Linda came by last night, said that you could look after him better and left" she looked at Zoe and noticed her frown. "Ill leave you to it" she smiled, slipping quietly from the room.

"Is she for real?!" Zoe raged, pacing the room, her hand rubbing her brow "she gets thirty grand and we get landed with the child?" She stopped and looked at Nick.

"What are we going to do?" She asked, thinking of how she could possibly explain to the girls with he was living with them.

"There's nothing we can do, Zoe" Nick sighed, taking a seat on the couch "he's my son."

"I'm well aware of that" Zoe cried "the one thing I can never give you, as Linda so kindly reminded me" she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes "how do we explain this to the girls?" Zoe asked, trying to wipe the tears away "how do we explain that they have a brother; that daddy had a baby with mummy's best friend?!"

Nick stood up and took Zoe in his arms, his thumb wiping the tears from her face "You've given me everything I've ever wanted Zoe; you became my wife and gave me two perfect daughters and for that I'll always be grateful" he whispered, kissing her gently. "Linda shouldn't have happened, I know that but I can't turn him away Zoe" he looked at the small boy asleep on the couch and then back at Zoe, hoping she'd see his point.

"I guess we'd better get the spare room sorted then" she whispered quietly, her face buried in Nicks chest.

"I love you" Nick whispered, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

.

"Why's he here?" Sofia asked as Nick and Zoe walked thought the front door with a sleeping Charlie.

"Charlie's going to live with us now, bear" Zoe told her kneeling down in front of her and opening her arms for a cuddle.

"No mummy!" She pouted, burying her face in Zoe's neck "no want him here" she cried, clinging onto Zoe.

"Sofia, don't be nasty" Nick berated her, looking at her crossly "he's your brother!"

Sofia looked at Nick, shocked that she was getting a row; she had always been daddy's little princess. She turned to look at Zoe, her bottom lip quivering and tears glistening in her eyes "My mummy" she said slowly, looking straight into Zoe's eyes "you're my mummy and daddy" she hugged Zoe tightly, not letting go of her as she stood up, he's knees clinging to Zoe's hips.

"Don't shout at her" Zoe whispered to Nick "she's just confused" she looked at Sofia and kissed her forehead "I'll always be your mummy, bear. You're my special girl but Charlie doesn't have a mummy and more so do you think you could share?"

Sofia nodded slowly, sucking in her thumb "love my mummy" she whispered, wrapping her arms around Zoe's neck.

"I love you too princess, now, bath and bed I think" she replied, propping her on her hip and carrying her upstairs.


	28. Chapter 28

It had surprised Zoe how easily she had fallen in love with Charlie, he reminded her of Nick in so many ways; he most definitely was his son. She watched the waves crash into the sand from her elevated position and smiled. The tap on the back of her thigh surprised her, she'd been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't heard him approach. He stood there, the top of his head in line with her thighs and looked up at her; it's astounded her how similar his eyes were to Nick's. "Hey Mr" she smiled picking him up and propping him on her hip "it's a little early for you to be up, no?" She asked, tapping his nose gently.

"Mummy" Charlie replied.

Zoe smiled at him, kissing his forehead. Her heart melted every time he called her that; they'd discouraged it at first, hoping that Linda would get in touch but eighteen months later and Zoe was officially Charlie's mummy; the adoption papers had been signed last week.

Nick joined them on the balcony shortly after, wrapping an arm around his wife's waist and kissing her head "morning" he smiled, resting his elbow on the railing and watching the sun rising over the sea.

"It's perfect here" Zoe whispered; not wanting to disturb the tranquility of the early morning. She couldn't have imagined her life any better; her eldest daughter had just turned five and about to start school, she was the spitting image of her mother. Her son, the middle child would be turning four in the coming weeks and was in awe if everything his oldest sister said or done. Then there was her baby; Lexie had just turned two before they moved, she was the perfect mix of Nick and Zoe and a daddy's girl through and through, she knew how to flutter her eyelashes at Nick and he was wrapped around her little finger – in Nicks eyes she could do no wrong.

"It really is" Nick agreed, looking out as the sun skimmed the horizon. "I, glad we made the decision" he smiled. Nick had been offered a job in Tuscany, near where he grew up, close to his parents house and as a family they decided to move out here. It was the most perfect place for their children to grow up. He looked at his son, noting that he had dozed off again on Zoe's shoulder "why don't you out him back to bed and come and join me in ours?" Nick whispered, nodding to the sleeping boy.

"Sounds perfect" Zoe agreed, and she wandered back into their apartment with a dirty grin and a swing on her hips.

.

"Yes! Nick!" Zoe panted, slumping down onto Nicks chest from her position where she straddled him. "How do you do that?" She chuckled; five years of marriage later and he still made stars appear behind her eyes. One kiss to _that_ spot on her neck and he had her quivering in his hands.

"Practice" Nick smiled, teasing her mouth with his, his probing fingers teasing her ever so gently.

"I love you" she whispered, as her back arched and pleasure coursed through her body. As she lay with her husband basking in the morning sunlight she realised that after all their trouble, marriage wasn't so complicated.


End file.
